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Lady Gaga floated down the red carpet in a costume concoction from Giorgio Armani Prive. She looked like a falling star, complete with star.

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And then we realized that her two-tone wig was actually a Hood! Faint.

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The curtain rose and lo' and behold the Fame Factory was up and churning out fake, faceless GaGa dancers that reminded my of the twitchy doctor from House on Haunted Hill. They gyrated and clawed at the star who was picked up and plopped into the fiery "rejected" bin...

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only to appear moments later, covered in ash, with Sir Elton John. The two rode the monster clawed piano into the crowds and we too raised our clawed hands in approval. Check out the video, next, you can not ignore it.

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Monsters!

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Pink wrapped herself in her best 5th Element duds and glided through the air with a team of golden bodies.

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Beyonce was escorted to the stage with her own personal army of villainous soldier boys.

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Stevie Nicks showed up and cast a magic spell on this little Teen Witch. And it worked, damn girl walked off with just about everything that wasn't nailed down last night.

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As a tribute to Michael Jackson a gaggle of different singers from all genres met on stage to sing his famous "What About Us," in 3D. I blame Avatar for this gigantic oversight, because, not only does every movie coming out in the next three years HAVE to have 3D, so do award shows now. And guess what looks like hell to the naked eye, 3D montage of butterflies and running horses. Hey zombie green horses, running, we think, ugh. Also what's the point of having 3D if everyone is just going to stand there? Point, spit, zoom in and out, throw things into the audience why don't you!

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And Fergie Ferg blended Tron with Xena, because you don't want to be the only girl with out her own scifi hero costume change.

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Whereas Gaga had 3 to choose from. I call this Metropolis Skyline.

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