Bring The Horror Home With Life-size Twilight Body PillowsS

Have you ever dreamt of sharing your boudoir with a pasty teenage bloodsucker...or Teen Wolf? Your innermost fantasies are now a reality thanks to these Twilight "manllows" on Etsy. Bonus: they're from the torso up, so everything stays thematically PG-rated!

Need a handsome shoulder to cry on after a long day of being the most middlingly average person at your high school? These Twilight "manllows" (man + pillows) fit the bill quite nicely. If and when they come back in stock on Etsy, you have the choice of Jacob (sans denim cut-offs, natch) or Edward (quasi-abusive emotional detachment not included).

Bring The Horror Home With Life-size Twilight Body PillowsS

The mystery merchant "Manllow" seems to know his/her audience of Twilight-obsessed chuckleheads and kitsch-drunk internet scoffers. Here's the savvy Manllow's description of the product:

Manllow: half man, half pillow.

For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Edward Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one.

Made of soft cotton jersey, screen printed face, polyester stuffing and love.

Bring The Horror Home With Life-size Twilight Body PillowsS

Incidentally, relationships with pillows are already somewhat of a phenomenon in Japan. Just another reason why Japan is the future here, dear readers.

[Etsy via Slashfilm]