What's the opposite of being beautiful, rich and popular? Tattoos, scars and Brooklyn living, according to the new teen Beauty And The Beast remake, Beastly. Good thing it's got Neil Patrick Harris as the candlestick.

What happens when the pretty, rich and popular kid is mean to the local Goth girl, Mary-Kate Olsen? She does what any good Goth would do, and uses her magical powers on him to turn him ugly. And by ugly, we mean tattooed. So now the rich pretty kid is just the tattooed rich kid, which is really enough for him to continue on having success in New York City. But for the sake of the story, he's cast out from his Upper West Side tower, and banished to Brooklyn! There are parts of Brooklyn that I'm not even allowed in, it's so expensive, but that's not important. New York = Fancy, desired location and Brooklyn = Poor banishment land, according to this movie.

But these people have heart, because they've been living on the mean street of the BK. All those hard-as-nails organic Vegan cafes and out door markets have taught them how to depend on one another, and appreciate each other. They don't judge based on looks, they judge on who has the smallest carbon footprint. And if the new movie wasn't driving home the "beauty is only skin deep" message enough, they usher in Neil Patrick Harris as the BLIND spirit guide/tutor to the newly deformed prince of New York. Get it, because he can't SEE you, he can't JUDGE you based on how you look... BECAUSE HE'S BLIND.

Anyway, by suffering through these trials the ugly ducking learns how to be a real boy, or something. And he marries the girl from High School Musical and they live happily ever after, after he's transformed back to being beautiful and they move away from Brooklyn, of course, because yuck.

Is it weird that I think he's cuter with the scars and face tatts? Anyways, it's always good to remind kids not to be dicks to Goth kids, or else they'll attack you with their evil magics. It's an important high school lesson.

All said, the film is based Alex Flinn's novel, which we've heard is actually pretty fun. Plus, we'll watch anything NPH is in. So keep a watch for Beastly on July 30, 2010!