Comics, movies, videogames, and TV shows all know their way around good character design — so how come the Olympics, decade after decade, commission the worst characters ever foisted upon millions? The recently unveiled London 2012 "things" are just...look.

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 2012
London, United Kingdom
Wenlock and Mendeville, "drops of steel with cameras for eyes"

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 2010
Vancouver, Canada
Sumi, Quatchi, and Miga: sea bear, sasquatch, and marmot

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 2008
Beijing, China
The Fuwa: Beibei (fish), Jingjing (giant panda), Huanhuan (Olympic flame), Yingying (Tibetan antelope), Nini (swallow)

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 2006
Turin, Italy
Neve and Gliz, snowball and ice cube

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 2004
Athens, Greece
Athena and Phevos, "brother" and "sister"

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 2002
Salt Lake City, United States
Powder, Copper, Coal: snowshoe hare, coyote, and bear (okay, these guys are kinda cute)

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 2000
Sydney, Australia
Ollie, Syd, and Millie: kookaburra, platypus, and echnidna

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1998
Nagano, Japan
The Snowlets: Sukki, Nokki, Lekki, and Tsukki

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1996
Atlanta, United States
Izzy, a...something

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1994
Lillehammer, Norway
Kristin and Hakon, human children

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1992
Barcelona, Spain
Cobi, a Catalan sheepdog in a suit

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1992
Albertville, France
Magique, a "man-star"

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1988
Seoul, South Korea
Hodori, a tiger cub

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?

Winter 1988
Calgary, Canada
Hidy and Howdy, polar bears

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer, 1984
Los Angeles, United States
Sam, an eagle

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?

Winter 1984
Sarajevo, Yugoslavia
Vucko, a wolf

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1980
Moscow, U.S.S.R.
Misch, a bear cub

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1980
Lake Placid, United States
Roni, a very sad raccoon

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1976
Montreal, Canada
Amik, a beaver

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1976
Innsbruck, Austria
Schneemann, a snowman

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Summer 1972
Munich, West Germany
Waldi, a dachshund

Why do Olympic mascots always, always suck?S

Winter 1968
Grenoble, France
Schuss, a skier