This dude just said the Battlestar Galactica finale was "great storytelling." WTF!? And then his friend started lecturing you about why your phone sucks. Are you starting to hyperventilate? You've got nerd rage! But just how wrathful are you?
Answer the following questions as honestly as possible. Then add up your score and find out just how angry you really are.
For each "yes" give yourself one point.
1. Have you ever experienced a spike in your blood pressure when overhearing other people (especially strangers) getting their facts wrong when they talk about a science fiction story, game, or software?
2. Have you ever been permanently banned from an online forum for arguing about the right way to interpret a TV series, movie, or comic book?
3. Have you ever argued for more than an hour straight over the merits of a piece of software or hardware? Give yourself two points if you were also arguing about open source vs. free software at the same time.
4. Is there only one right answer to the question, "Which Star Trek movie is the best?"
5. Do you agree that it is impossible to fully appreciate the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy without reading the books?
6. Have you ever broken something worth more than $20 after getting killed in a video game?
7. "Apple sucks." "Apple rules." Are those fighting words?
8. Have you ever tried to punch somebody after arguing about Batman, Superman, or any Marvel Comics character?
9. Do you own a collectible whose loss or destruction would put you in an extremely, extremely bad mood that lasts for more than one day?
10. Have you ever gotten into a friendship-ending fight with somebody over software, games, or science fiction?
11. Have you ever screamed at somebody for more than five minutes for making a really bad move in a video game or RPG?
12. Have you ever gotten so frustrated with a gadget or computer that you have thrown it across the room or out a window?
13. When somebody screws you over, do they deserve to have their email/Facebook/Twitter/blog account hacked? Not by you, of course, but by somebody who just happens to have your DNA and occupies the exact same spot as you do in space and time?
Add up your score.
Here's where you are on the Geek Rage Scale (GRS):
0-3 points: Grumpy Fan
You might occasionally suffer from nerd grumpiness, but you keep your anger mostly in check. Nobody will see your dark side unless they really provoke you. You are able to behave in mixed nerd/non-nerd company.
4-5 points: Touchy Geek
Woe to the person who finds herself on the wrong end of an argument with you about your favorite thing, whether that's New X-Men or the Android OS. You've got really strong opinions, and you're not afraid to share them. Even in a really quiet place where everybody is looking at you. Luckily, there are only a few things that really set you off.
6-8 points: Dangerous Dork
It's hard for you to be around non-geeks sometimes. First of all, they don't know the difference between Firefox and Windows. Which is just - what the hell. And second of all, they don't know WTF they are talking about when they say Next Gen is better than original Trek. Sometimes you just can't stop yourself from correcting them, and then they get these really weird looks on their faces which just make them even more hard to understand. Better to hang out with geeks who understand why you are angry.
9-11 points: Complete Freakazoid
Did that guy mess up your game? How about that writer who totally borked your favorite show? Well, this means war. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT GODDAMN TRAVESTY THAT DARES TO CALL ITSELF A MOVIE? You really want to know. And you're going to keep yelling about it until everybody sees things your way. Even if it comes to blows, or a major flame war that will result in moderators being called in, banhammers, and certain people's addresses being posted online.
12-14 points: Nerd Berserker
What the hell, dude. Chill the fuck out. Seriously - it's only a movie, OK? I can't take you anywhere without you flying off the handle and breaking shit because people don't take games as seriously as you do, and I can't even hang out with you online anymore because you got kicked out of every freakin fan forum we're on together. Maybe you should see a counselor to deal with your geek rage issues. Seriously - it might help. Ow! Jeez! Hey, that's my super valuable 1970s Ghidorah action figure! Don't - ! AAAAAAAAAAAA!