Danger! Car Dealers Now in Possession of “Perfect Handshake” EquationTo seal more car deals, Chevrolet UK looked to arm its sales force with the perfect weapon of confidence: an unstoppable handshake. Here's the secret they received from Geoffrey Beattie, Head of Psychological Sciences at the University of Manchester.

Beattle gave them this equation:

PH (Perfect Handshake)= √ (e^2 + ve^2)(d^2) + (cg + dr)^2 + π{(4< s >^2)(4

^2)}^2 + (vi + t + te)^2 + {(4^2 )(4^2)}^2

We hope (and suspect) the training posters and equation, supposedly meant for Chevrolet-sellers, are meant for publicity and are not a real attempt to improve customer relations.

The variables, as outlined in a Chevrolet press release:

(e) is eye contact (1=none; 5=direct) 5; (ve) is verbal greeting (1=totally inappropriate; 5=totally appropriate) 5; (d) is Duchenne smile – smiling in eyes and mouth, plus symmetry on both sides of face, and slower offset (1=totally non-Duchenne smile (false smile); 5=totally Duchenne) 5; (cg) completeness of grip (1=very incomplete; 5=full) 5; (dr) is dryness of hand (1=damp; 5=dry) 4; (s) is strength (1= weak; 5=strong) 3; (p) is position of hand (1=back towards own body; 5=other person's bodily zone) 3; (vi) is vigour (1=too low/too high; 5=mid) 3; (t) is temperature of hands (1=too cold/too hot; 5=mid) 3; (te) is texture of hands (5=mid; 1=too rough/too smooth) 3; (c) is control (1=low; 5=high) 3; (du) is duration (1= brief; 5=long) 3.

The press release details some pretty common sense advice: avoid sweaty palms; don't squeeze too hard or hold on too long; make eye contact. But putting the formula into action might be tough; if actually meant to inspire confidence (which the release says 70 percent of hand-shakers are lacking), doing the math before every hand-to-hand may instead lead to more perfect head scratching.

Image: flickr / Aidan Jones

Danger! Car Dealers Now in Possession of “Perfect Handshake” Equation

This post originally appeared on Discoblog, Discover's catalog of quirky, funny science news from the edge of the known universe.