Who wants to be a horror "scream queen?" Plus The IT Crowd returns!S

Summer TV is awesome! Just check out our listing, including a new series about aspiring horror actresses, Stan Lee's new mutantsploitation show, and tons of cartoons. Plus nerd-comedy gem The IT Crowd, along with new Futurama, Eureka and Warehouse 13.


Monday:

Today's pick of the day must be tonight's new episode of Scream Queens on VH1 at 10 PM. Ten aspiring "actresses" will be competing for a role in Saw 3-D, which as we all know can make or break your career. Somehow we missed the fact that this show premiered last week (probably because their press release said August 9.) Get caught up by watching the season opener here:

Cartoon Network hits you with a new Scooby Doo: Mystery Inc. at 7 PM, a new Johnny Test at 7:30 PM and a new Adventure Time with Finn and Jake at 8 PM. Find out how that Shaggy-Velma-Scooby love triangle is coming along.

Meanwhile, it's all mega-fish action all the time on National Geographic, with a new Fish Warrior at 9 PM and a new Monster Fish at 10 PM. How glorious is it to be alive in an era where we can watch two different giant fish documentaries back to back?

Movies:

FX is showing Click, with Adam Sandler, at 8 PM. Just be glad your remote controls him, and not the other way around. Syfy is showing Predator 2 and The Fifth Element back-to-back starting at 5 PM.

Tuesday:

It's not strictly science fiction, but our pick of the day will have to be the fourth season premiere of The IT Crowd on IFC at 10:30 PM. This is the greatest nerd comedy series of all time, and if you haven't checked it out, you really owe it to yourself to immerse yourself in the weirdness. Here's a taste:

There's also a new Warehouse 13 on Syfy at 10 PM. And it sounds as though an artifact is having an unpleasant effect on Pete, causing everybody to wonder if he's losing it.

There's also a new Unnatural History on Cartoon Network at 8 PM, a new It's Effin Science on G4 at 9 PM, and a new episode of post-apocalyptic reality show The Colony on Discovery at 10 PM.

Finally, it may be worth mentioning that Shaq Vs. is featuring Shaq having a "magic-off" with Penn & Teller. Yes, really. That's on ABC at 9 PM.

Movies:

During the day, Syfy has movies all day, including Showdown at Area 51, Predator 2, Mutant Chronicles and The Fifth Element. Do a back-to-back robot comparison as Encore shows Short Circuit 2 at 9 AM and Wall-E at 12:40 PM. Sky High is on Disney at 8 PM.

Wednesday:

I'm honestly not sure what to make pick of the day today. There's a new Wonders Of The Solar System on Science at 9 PM, and then at 10 PM there's a new Chasing Mummies on the History Channel and a new Monsters Inside Me on Animal Planet. But this might be your evening to kill your television. Oh, there's also a new Psych on USA at 10 PM, and that show frequently has tons of science fiction references in it.

Movies:

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is on Disney at 8 PM. Come on, you know you've always been curious to see that. Also, Josie and the Pussycats is on Encore at 6:20 PM. And The Box is on Cinemax at 10 PM.

Thursday:

Futurama tackles the ongoing controversy over evolution on Comedy Central at 10 PM, and it's our pick of the day. In "A Clockwork Origin," our crew visits a planet inhabited by robots who put the theory of evolution to the test. And there will be robot dinosaurs, according to the Infosphere.

Who wants to be a horror "scream queen?" Plus The IT Crowd returns!S

The History Channel has a new The Universe at 9 PM, followed by the truly odd show, Stan Lee's Superhumans, at 10 PM. (I watched the first episode of Stan Lee's Superhumans the other day, and it may actually be the most dreadful thing Stan Lee has ever been involved with.)

And there's a new Burn Notice on USA at 9 PM!

Movies:

AMC has the Tim Burton Planet Of The Apes at 9 AM, in case you feel like calling in sick, but need to sound adequately nauseous on the phone with your boss. Meanwhile, it's all bug movies on Syfy, including In the Spider's Web, The Hive, Arachnid and Arachnophobia. And then X-Men: The Last Stand is so nice, FX is showing it twice, at 8 PM and 10 PM.

Friday:

Tonight's pick of the day is once again Eureka, if only on the strength of the episode title, "Momstrosity." You have to admit it's a pretty intriguing title. That's at 9 PM, followed at 10 PM by a new episode of Haven.

Who wants to be a horror "scream queen?" Plus The IT Crowd returns!S

Movies:

Today's call-in-sick option: FX has a double feature of Daredevil and Elektra, from 9 AM until noon. Also, Mannequin 2: On The Move is on Encore at 8:50 AM. Syfy is doing Stephen King (and H.P. Lovecraft) movies all day, with Sometimes They Come Back... Again, Sometimes They Come Back... For More, The Dunwich Horror (with Jeffrey Combs!) and finally Stephen King's Desperation. (Insert your own joke about Stephen King and desperation.) At 3 PM, TCM is showing Captain Nemo and the Underwater City.

Saturday:

It's another new (to Americans, anyway) episode of Being Human, on BBC America at 9 PM, and that's our pick of the day. George tries to control his werewolf state by locking himself in a cage and tranquilizing himself during the full moon, and you can see for yourself the result below:

Movies:

Wake up with Octopussy, on Encore at 10 AM. Syfy is showing dinosaur movies all day. And Spike has the original Star Wars trilogy, starting at 3 PM. FX is showing 2007's Marvel movies, Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer and Ghost Rider, back to back starting at 6 PM. ABC Family has Independence Day at 10 PM. And then at midnight, Spike is showing Aliens.

Sunday:

I'm tempted to make the pick of the day Comedy Central's roast of David Hasselhoff at 10 PM, if only because there are bound to be a million Knight Rider jokes. But let's be classy instead, and once again name True Blood as our daily pick. Awakening from a slumber, Bill uncovers the truth about Sookie's identity, which sounds promising. It's called "Everything Is Broken," and here's a sneak peek:

There's also a new The Gates on ABC at 10 PM, and the season finale of The Boondocks, involving a terrorist attack, on Adult Swim at 11:30 PM.

Movies:

At 10 AM, the Cartoon Network has Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring. They're entrusted with a magic ring, but it gets stuck on Jerry's head. I bet that ring is made of comedy gold. It's dragon/sorcery movies all day on Syfy, including an Uwe Boll classic, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, at 4 PM. Spike is repeating the original Star Wars trilogy, starting at noon. X2: X-Men United is on FX at 8 PM. There's a live-action Scooby Doo movie, The Mystery Begins, on Cartoon at 9 PM. And finally, J.J. Abrams rocks out with Mission Impossible III at 1 AM on TNT.