Madame Rosebud and Little Brooklyn finally get around to reading Twilight

S


Edward listens for a vampire heartbeat?

S


This is an erectile dysfunction ad

S


For Mormons, this counts as third base

S


Edward displays his usual concern for Bella's needs

S

Bella realizes that 100 years is a long time to collect venereal diseases

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Suddenly, Edward's Spidey sense starts tingling

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Now Bella's senses are tingling

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"It's OK, it happens to all men"

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Edward gropes blindly for relief from his depression

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…but for some reason finds no interest in his hand's current purchase

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And suddenly it all makes sense

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We all knew the Mormons' lack of sex education would come
back to bite them someday

S


Edward thinks vampire babies gestate in the kneecaps.

S


Syd is unaware of where he's pointing