Despite elections and baseball, television still rules. Fringe is back! There are robot uprisings galore! Plus guest spots: Eliza Dushku on Big Bang Theory, Timothy Dalton on Chuck, and Daniel Radcliffe and Hugh Laurie in the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror.
There's a new Scooby Doo - Mystery Inc. at 7 PM on the Cartoon Network, followed by a new Johnny Test at 7:30 PM.
And then there's a new Chuck on NBC at 8 PM, in which "Chuck goes on a rogue mission." I'm just guessing it has something to do with his mom.
At 8 PM, there's Adventure Time on Cartoon Network ("Blood Under the Skin"), followed by a new Regular Show at 8:15 ("Prank Callers"), a new Mad at 8:30 PM, a new Robotomy at 8:45, and a new Total Drama World Tour at 9:00 PM.
Here's a look at Robotomy:
But there's no new episode of The Event at 9 PM on NBC, because they're showing a two-hour special about the women of Saturday Night Live. Expect the sequiturs to be less non in these comedy sketches than in the one-hour conspiracy thriller show.
At 10 PM, National Geographic has Man-Made Disasters.
HBO is showing Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant at 3 PM, in case you missed this cute film featuring John C. Reilly as a vampire ringmaster. Ridley Scott's original Alien is on AMC at 5:30 PM, so you can revisit the classic before he
ruins reinvents it with his new prequel movies. That's followed at 8 PM by Red Planet with Carrie-Ann Moss. Also at 8 PM: Race to Witch Mountain, in which The Rock teams up with a couple of perky alien kids. Irresistible!
At 8 PM in most markets, PBS has a new Nova, dealing with the world's fastest elevator.
Also at 8, there's a new Tower Prep on the Cartoon Network — just in case, instead of watching the election results, you'd rather be immersed in the saga of people who are trapped in a world where they're under constant surveillance from people whose paternalistic rhetoric masks their true motives.
But there's no new No Ordinary Family on ABC, because of election stuff.
There is, however, a new Stargate Universe on Syfy at 9 PM — and maybe the fact that this is practically the only escape from election-night punditry will drive a bunch more viewers to the antics of Rush and Young. Learn from the struggles of the Destiny's crew to preserve a semblance of order and civilian government.
Also at 9 PM: the second season premiere of Meteorite Men on the Science Channel:
In this thrilling new series that brings us closer to space than ever before, Geoff Notkin and Steve Arnold embark on a global adventure for meteorites. They share a passion for adventure, traveling to wild places, and hunting for extraterrestrial visitors from outer space. With three 4WD trucks, two ATVs, two giant metal detectors and an array of other hunting gadgets, the METEORITE MEN cover hundreds of acres of ground. No area goes uncharted as they search in plowed fields, dense forests, rolling hillsides, abandoned farms, and unmarked dirt roads in the hunt for the valuable and mysterious space rocks.
But there's no new Caprica on Syfy at 10 PM, because Syfy pulled the plug on this BSG prequel. Sorry! (Your local TV listings will probably say there's a new Caprica, but they're lying. If only you could vote for a government that would mandate new Caprica episodes.)
There aren't even any good movies, although some of the premium channels are showing their usual stuff. Cinemax is showing Terminator Salvation at 5:30 PM and Starz has the actually quite good remake of The Crazies at 9 PM.
There's another new Undercovers on NBC at 8 PM - our favorite married couple have to stop the assassination of the new president of Peru.
Also at 8 PM, there's a new MythBusters: Buster's Cut on Discovery ("The Best Way to Lose a Car"), followed by a new MythBusters at 9 PM ("Arrow Machine Gun").
Adam and Jamie embark on an archery odyssey as the MYTHBUSTERS go back in time to recreate a machine that can fire arrows just like a modern machine gun. According to an ancient Greek legend, Dionysus the Elder of Alexandria created a machine 2,300 years ago that could fire arrows just like a modern machine gun. It's an ancient engineering challenge, but for our machine mavens it doesn't take long until they have an ancient archery prototype. Will it live up to its historical hype, or turn out to be a Trojan horse? Meanwhile Grant, Tory and Kari take to the road to test ‘tired' versus ‘tipsy.' Each year, thousands of traffic accidents are caused by fatigue, so the team tests whether it is far more dangerous to drive tired than to drive slightly inebriated. Could commuting without 40 winks actually be more risky than driving tipsy?
There's also a new Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes at 8:30 PM on Disney XD.
At 10 PM, there's a new episode of Sci-Fi Science: Physics Of The Impossible on the Science channel, dealing with holodecks.
And at 10:30 PM there's a new episode of Comedy Central's Ugly Americans.
There are a few especially great movies on TV today. Notably, the underrated Timecop is on Encore at 11:40 AM and 9:50 PM - watch Van Damme doing the splits on his kitchen counter and freezing people with liquid nitrogen and then kicking them into shards. It never gets old! At 5:30 PM, Starz is showing the greatly underrated Astro Boy, with Kristen Bell. And at 8 PM, Disney has its ridiculous "teens travel through time to erase social embarrassments from history" movie Minutemen. And at 11:30 PM, Encore is showing Sphere, with Dustin Hoffman.
There's a new The Vampire Diaries, on The CW at 8 PM, "Rose." Stefan and Damon work together to try and help Elena, and in the process they gain a new appreciation for human nature and their own pasts. Meanwhile, Jeremy helps out Bonnie after a spell she casts wears her out. And Caroline tries to make life easier for Tyler... probably with hilarious results.
Also at 8 PM, there's also a new The Big Bang Theory on CBS — guest-starring Faith the Vampire Slayer herself, Eliza Dushku!
Will there be a new Fringe on Fox? Not even Walter Bishop can tell for sure — according to the TV listings, the new episode may be pre-empted for Game Seven of the World Series, if the Giants and the Rangers still haven't worked out their differences. Which is too bad, since this sounds like a crackerjack episode, in which the Fringe Division "over there" has to stop someone from trying to free his brother from the amber that freezes places where the walls of the universe have gotten weaker. Also, Walternate wants Olivia to subject herself to some tests... not realizing that Olivia already suspects the truth about which universe she comes from, thanks to "Head Peter." Even though I live in San Francisco, I don't really care which team wins the Series, as long as they do it by Thursday.
Also at 9 PM, Nikita is presumably still working on taking down Division, on The CW.
The awesome Cujo is on AMC at 8 PM. And at 4:02 AM Friday morning, AMC is showing Battle for the Planet of the Apes, one of the Apes movies you don't see on television as often for some reason. Regardless, this is a darn good installment of Ape-lore.
There's another new Batman: The Brave and the Bold at 7:00 pm on the Cartoon Network, "Plague of the Prototypes."
That's followed by a new Ben 10: Ultimate Alien at 7:30 PM.
There's also a new Smallville, on The CW at 8 PM, "Ambush." Lois and Clark visit Lois' dad, General Lane, who reveals that he hates superheroes and wants to pass a "vigilante registration law." But one of those vigilantes, Rick Flagg, is gunning for the general. And Lois feels caught between her dad and her boyfriend.
There's also a new Medium on CBS at 8 PM, in which "Joe reaches the limits of his patience."
We'll never get any more episodes of The Gates or a sequel to Doomsday — but you can always watch National Geographic's Dog Whisperer, in which we deal with "Rhona Mitra's violent bulldog," at 8 PM, and pretend...
At 8 PM, we get another outing of Genndy Tartakovsky's Sym-Bionic Titan on the Cartoon Network, followed by a new Generator Rex at 8:30 PM. And then at 9, there's a new Star Wars: The Clone Wars, "Evil Plans," featuring Cad Bane.
At 9 PM, there's a new Supernatural on The CW, in which Dean's suspicions of Grandpa Samuel become a lot more pronounced, as Dean and Samuel go out on a hunt together.
At 10 PM, there's a new Sanctuary on Syfy, "Trail of Blood." And here's a sneak peek:
Also at 10 PM, there's Dean Of Invention on Planet Green, in which the inventor of the Segway tells us how to improve our lives. This time, it's about "Robot Revolution":
After years of being relegated to characters in fantasy and science fiction, robots are finally becoming crucial players in solving real-life problems. The twist is that they won't be our peers. They'll last longer. They'll be stronger. And they'll meet challenges human beings simply can't.
Sleepwalkers, starring Brian Krause, is on AMC at 4 PM. And at 11:30 PM, AMC is showing the original 28 Days Later - even though Halloween is over, there's still no excuse for missing a quasi-zombie classic. At 1:50 AM, Encore is showing the 1988 remake of The Blob — did you even remember they had remade this movie? And at 3 AM, Syfy is showing Alien Agent, with Billy Zane.
Can't wait for the deluxe DVD version of Avatar, and didn't bother to buy the "vanilla" version? James Cameron's mo-cap marvel is airing for the first time on HBO at 8 PM, presumably in the same version that already ran in theaters. Rediscover the magic and ride the big blue dragon... unless you have something else to do on a Saturday night. Which, what are the odds?
Meanwhile, ABC Family is showing the Back to the Future trilogy starting at 3:30 PM. Also, at 4:30 PM, you have a chance to reevaluate Superman Returns, on AMC. Mars Attacks! is on TBS at 12:15 AM. And at 3:30 AM, the 1954 original Creature from the Black Lagoon is on AMC.
The big event on Sunday is the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXI, only one week late for Halloween. That's on Fox at 8 PM, and among other things, it includes Harry Potter himself — Daniel Radcliffe — playing a vampire who's obviously a play on Edward from Twilight. Plus Hugh Laurie! That's followed by the rest of Fox's usual animation bloc, which are all doing belated Halloween episodes.
At 9 PM in most markets, your local PBS station is showing the final episode of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss' Sherlock as part of the Masterpiece Theater Mystery series.
At 10 PM, there's another new episode of The Walking Dead on AMC, "Guts."
And once again, there's no new Venture Bros., which just seems cruel.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is on BBC America at 1:30 — get retrofuturistic with Angelina! The Truman Show is on TBS at 2:15 PM — relive Jim Carrey's finest hour and remind yourself why we all love Andrew Niccol, in time for Niccol's newest dystopian future head-trip, now filming. James Cameron's The Abyss is on AMC at 6 PM. And Flubber is on the Cartoon Network at 7 PM. Or you could always watch Sean Connery in his best ever costume, in Zardoz, on FMC at 11:30 PM.