Study Says Wi-Fi Makes Trees Sick

Wi-Fi, sweet deliverer of information and porn, may be killing trees. A study by a Dutch university suggests that Wi-Fi radiation causes weird abnormalities in trees. This is disturbing, as we love both Wi-Fi and trees.

The dutch city of Alphen aan den Rijn commissioned the study five years ago to figure out why their city's trees were developing weird growths, according to PC World. The study, conducted by a researcher at Wageningen University, found that 70 percent of trees in urban areas exhibited similar symptoms today, while only 10 percent did five years ago. What's to blame for the increase? Wi-Fi, maybe.

From PC World:

The study exposed 20 ash trees to various radiation sources for a period of three months. Trees placed closest to the Wi-Fi radio demonstrated a "lead-like shine" on their leaves that was caused by the dying of the upper and lower epidermis of the leaves. This would eventually result in the death of parts of the leaves. The study also found that Wi-Fi radiation could inhibit the growth of corn cobs.

But when bunch of media outlets picked up the story and were all, "BREAKING: Wi-FI IS AIRBORNE DEATH," the Dutch Antennebureau cautioned that these are only initial results, and previous studies showed Wi-Fi was harmless."There are no far-reaching conclusions from the results. Based on the information now available, it can not be concluded that the WiFi radio signals lead to damage to trees or other plants." (Isn't that cute? The Dutch have entire bureau dedicated to antennae.)

In conclusion: Wi-Fi signals will make your baby's arms turn into trees.