All this week, the eminently entertaining Monster Brains is doing a round-up of astoundingly atrocious horror and science fiction 1980s VHS art. Looking at these covers reminds me of my old neighborhood video store, right down to that mysterious room with the cowboy doors. Here's a sampling of Monster Brains' choicest picks.
I'm not sure what to make of Fear No Evil. So let me get this straight — Lucifer is reborn in the body of a teenager and holds an entire town hostage...while the B-52s and Boomtown Rats play on blast? Truth be told, if I was going to make a horror movie, I would score it with 90 minutes of "Rock Lobster." After 15 minutes, the audiences' cortexes would erode into porridge.
I enjoy the stilted formality of this VHS cover. Parasite was not "created to reproduce...AND TO KILL!" He was "created to reproduce and to kill." It is incredibly matter-of-fact. I imagine he shakes your hand, exchanges business cards, and engages in unenjoyable small talk before eviscerating you.
Joe Bob Briggs declared The Nest "the first great drive-in flick of '88." How could you pass this up?
Judging from this cover, but I'm pretty sure Terror Train is about David Copperfield consuming an entire locomotive, transforming into a sex lizard, and practicing his conversational German with Jamie Lee Curtis. The ending of the film elucidates nothing.
This looks like Heavy Metal if I made it in my garage after scrapbooking with rubber cement in an unventilated room.
I'm not sure how a bunch of bushido zombies are Neon Maniacs, but color me one to be persuaded. You can check out many more of these covers at Monster Brains.