There's something perversely fascinating about the way Hollywood merchandises Halloween costumes. Green Lantern hits theaters June 17, but there's already a line of GL outfits mocked up and waiting to be donned by would-be Hal Jordans. The thing is, Green Lantern has yet to prove itself as a blockbuster, so should the film founder, its tie-in costumes will forlornly gather dust in party stores' discount bins, consigned to the same depressing fate as all those Jonah Hex and Krull Halloween costumes.
On the flip side, should Green Lantern become a pop smash, we might see legions of meatball-faced Kilowogs mewling for Milky Ways on October 31. Is this a good thing? Let's take a look at some of Costume Craze's Green Lantern cosplay.
First up we have the beneficent chicken-fish Tomar-Re. If I was Stanley Kubrick and had to recreate the scene in The Shining in which Shelly Duvall busts in on a bear giving a guy a blowjob, I would use this costume.
Next, we have Hal's mentor Sinestro. If anyone's confused by your costume, you can also claim you're dressed as "Key Party Luigi from Super Mario Bros."
This is a child-sized Sinestro outfit, no? If not, it doubles as a "Daniel Stern addicted to human growth hormone" Halloween costume. We all know how popular those will be come October.
This appears to be a kids' Kilowog costume. I emphasize "appears" as I'm trying to remember if there was a Green Lantern who was a sentient pile of ground beef.
This isn't half bad for a kids' costume. Your older neighbors will nonetheless refer to you as "Green Zorro."
Wow, that is one overemphasized Oan codpiece. How about you use your Power Ring and manifest some pantaloons that don't look like you're traipsing around with a justice boner?
This week, Costume Craze also released a line of outfits based on DC's Ame-Comi manga maquettes. Supergirl here is supposed to emulate the cutesy fancy-free of this statue. Instead, this model was caught mid-grimace just as the cameraman told her she wouldn't be paid for the photo shoot.
Catwoman here did not get the memo that pockets alone do not signify a pair of pants.
And here's Wonder Woman, complete with her mammoth Wonder Wig. If I ever become a vigilante like Phoenix Jones, I will combine the Kilowog costume with this. Kilowog will be used for terrifying masquerade, whereas the Wonder Wig will be used to bludgeon crooks. I'm assuming Wonder Woman's follicles are as strong as the rest of her body, so there's some comic book verité in using her hair as a blunt object.