There are times when nothing looks good in the fridge. There are even times when nothing looks good in the store, or on the menu. Occasionally - at least for the fortunate people who live in the 'obesity is a problem' countries - all food looks boring and routine; like it's been served to you a million times before. It's then that you can turn to fiction. Scifi and fantasy is peppered with delicious and strange dishes to excite the taste buds, delight the palate, and probably confound the lower intestine. Here are a list of ten scifi and fantasy foods that I'd love to try.
10. Klingon food
Klingons are the war-like people in Star Trek, and their food reflects that. True, I wouldn't actually like to eat gagh, which is served live, or slimy tongue balls, which don't really need an explanation. However, it would make returning to human food - after the puking - extremely welcome.
9. The Spice Melange
The spice must flow. It's a necessity in the Dune universe, and operatic power struggles play out across the galaxy to control it. It turns people's eyes an early-technicolor shade of blue, makes all kinds of freaky things happen with human anatomy, and supposedly increased awareness, wisdom, and mental ability. More importantly, it looks like it would be incredible in a paella.
This is elf food in The Lord of the Rings universe, and like everything else about the elves it's perfect. It tastes delicious, is filling, is nourishing, and keeps forever. The only guy who doesn't like it is Gollum, so it's not just a food, it's a delicious test of character. It should be served on first dates.
7. Fry's Worm Egg Salad Sandwich
This is more of a self-improvement exercise than a food - but at least it's a highly effective one. This sandwich, bought in the bathroom of a space gas station, contains parasites that tone the muscles, improve the mind, and make mortal injuries into mere annoyances. All that, and it has tomatoes.
6. The Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster
This drink is described in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is like, "having your brains smashed in with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick." It was invented by the President of the Galaxy and includes things like MegaGin, Hypermint, and the tooth of an Algolan Suntiger. I don't even drink, but that sounds good.
5. The White Witch's Turkish Delight
The Narnia chronicles dispense with The White Witch fairly soon, but not before they reveal that she makes turkish delight good enough to enslave someone. She's a witch in the throne room, but an angel in the kitchen.
4. Evil Ted's Special Cookies
One episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer featured John Ritter as Ted, a salesman so immediately and intensely creepy that every viewer pegged him as evil the second they saw him. And yet he gained the love of a beautiful woman, and the trust of Buffy's friends. How? Through specially made - and drugged - cookies. They were shown to be irresistably delicious and put everyone in a calm and happy mood the moment that they ate them. Sure, the guy turned out to be an evil robot, but clearly he knew a thing or two about baking.
3. Spice Weasel Spice
Futurama makes its second appearance. This is what happens when a science fiction show features a celebrity chef. Whenever something goes wrong with a dish, Elzar, the star of a cooking show and the owner of a particularly expensive restaurant, gives it 'a blast from the Spice Weasel.' If we had those now, we'd never ruin another dish.
2. Ameglian Major Cow
And The Hitchhiker's Guide series makes it second appearance as well. That is what happens when you have an entire book named after a restaurant. Sometime in the future, people decided that it was a real drag to herd and kill unwilling animals. Instead of switching to vegetables - many of whome were unwilling as well - they decided to breed willing animals. Not only that, they decided to breed animals who were able to say how willing they were, and to describe their various cuts to people before they served themselves up. The Ameglian Major Cow was one of those animals. What spices up a meal better than a touch of the taboo?
1. Clone-Farmed Long Pig
For all out taboo, I would have to go to the world of Transmetropolitan. Transmetropolitan is a comic book series set in a very unflattering future. One of the many foodstuff served up to the denizens of that future hell is long pig. Long pig was, in reality, a term used for human meat in some cannibal cultures - since they thought humans tasted like pork. In Transmetropolitan, a certain farm clones humans without brains to serve as meat for the rest of the world, and I would like to try it. Why? Because I said Transmet painted an unflattering picture, not an inaccurate one.