Earlier this week. James Earl Jones was coerced into reading Justin Bieber lyrics on national television. His bemused performance was strange enough, but then an intrepid YouTube remixer spliced his spoken word onto The Empire Strikes Back's big reveal. This video isn't that much different from reality. Darth Vader was spontaneously conceived thanks to midichlorians; Bieber — the genetic amalgamation of Tevin Campbell, Jordy, and one of those puppets from The Dark Crystal — was brewed in a laboratory somewhere.