On the Event, viral video threats and bad astronomy and WTF hairS

This week's episode of The Event was all about how the president needed to man up and kill people. Plus, Dempsey needed to drink child extract and Sean and Vicky needed to rethink those wig choices.

Oh, and also? We learned once again that this show has the worst science advisers ever. There was a moment of seriously bad astronomy, and not the good bad astronomy you find on Phil Plait's blog. Get ready for . . . spoilers that don't even matter because who cares!

Sean has SEO superowers

So now Sean has roped Vicky into his plan to take down what he calls "the conspiracy," but what we call "a giant steaming pile of narrative mess that wishes it were as coherent as a conspiracy." The best part is that he threatens Vicky ONCE AGAIN with this dumb idea that he'll make her mom's address "go viral" on the internet. What is this guy, an SEO wizard? How will this grandma's address ever compete with Rebecca Black? Seriously, Sean, unless you have some serious 4Chan connections then it's time to zip it about this viral thing - which is (thank you shitastic tech advisers) linked to a "virus" on Sean's phone which he has to update every 2 hours. That means that all night long, every two hours, Sean wakes up and punches in some numbers TO PREVENT THE VIRUS FROM UNLEASHING THE VIRAL. Got that, scifi fans who we respect so little that we didn't bother to learn about any of the technologies you care about?

Anyway, back to the plot. How will they execute Sean's amazing plan? By reading things online about where the VP is, and disguising Vicky with a terrifying wig! Then they'll sneak into a fundraiser, get the VP into a back room, and threaten him with a lipstick gun until he spills it that Dempsey is on his way to some kind of French chalet with a truck full of little girls he made his assistant kidnap in a playground.

Meanwhile, the President is figuring everything out

I love this scene where all the intelligence agents and everybody who works for Martinez had not connected the dot and figured out that if 200 people get the same encrypted text message as Sophia that it MIGHT BE THE COORDINATES OF AN ALIEN MEETING. See how smart Martinez is? He figures it all out!

This is only after like four scenes that are comprised entirely of the president asking various people, "Have you found Sophia yet?" One of those scenes also includes Martinez grabbing his VP by the lapels while Sterling watches - it's sort of a hot threesome until everybody remembers they're at work and they have to track down aliens.

Unfortunately those aliens are so stupid that they don't even realize their sun is actually INSIDE their own solar system

Check out this scene where Thomas delivers his shocking news to the aliens before the illegally-deployed military unit comes in and bust up his party. Their sun is going supernova, but the rays won't reach their solar system for a few days? Huh? Is their sun not actually at the center of their solar system? Do the writers actually think "solar system" is synonymous with "planet"?

And while I'm complaining, why is the entire point of this episode that Martinez needs to become an authoritarian who breaks the law and uses US military forces against people on American soil? I now completely hate this guy, and want to see him brought down. Unfortunately, I also hate all the alien leaders. There is nobody I sympathize with in this show except for the virus on Sean's phone.

Tune in next week when Dempsey, Sean, and Vicky have a nice vacation in France and things explode.