There's an exquisite je ne sais quoi when local news correspondents plumb the depths of the paranormal. We've seen them investigate chemtrails, wandering mummies, and mysterious skulls, but this report about Roswell's astrocacti may just be the zenith of anti-news.

From KRQE 13:

[Botanist] David Salman said he was on a seed hunting trip near Roswell when he noticed a faint glow coming from what appeared to be a meteor crater. He said it turned out the light was coming from a small patch of carnivorous cacti. Salman said he found a cactus that eats bugs, glows and probably came to earth on a meteor. He says he scooped up some samples to see if someone could identify them, so far no one has been able to.

Imagine being an unwitting Roswellian. You just want to learn when they'll fix all those damn potholes on Main Street and this comes on — they don't have to put up with these xenobiological shenanigans in Farmington or Albuquerque! And to you, brave news anchors, keep fighting the good fight. Some folks are dismissing this as April Fool's monkeyshines, but they'll be singing a different tune when all those FBI memos are declassified.

[Via Real UFOs]