Just because your species is extinct doesn't mean your dress sense has to be, too. Dinosaurs can be dapper too! And let's be honest, if you're going to bother putting clothes on a dinosaur, they ought to be stylish.
Sad to say, nobody is being the Mr. Gladwell for the dino set. So here's our complete listing of the best sartorial choices among the clade dinosauria. As well as those who might need a dino-makeover.
Devil Dinosaur (Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E.):
Here Devil Dinosaur is dressed for a night in, replete with champagne flute and revolver, in a classic smoking jacket and cravat. This may seem like an elegant no-brainer, but look at how Devil uses the color palette to highlight his dark red tones! The muted forest green of the jacket, which cuts low across the thigh, makes Devil's rubicund skin stand out. And the gold silk cravat is a pop of contrasting color that draws the eye up, ensuring the onlookers will be suitably impressed by both Devil's height, and those sharp, sharp teeth. Bravo Mr. Dinosaur: don't ever change!
Styled by: Stuart Immonen
Rex Ready (Penny Arcade)
Rex Ready, time travelling dinosaur spy, is prepared for any eventuality in his black tuxedo and bow tie. This look may seem conservative, (who wear a bow tie anymore?) but for the time traveller, the old-fashioned choice is always best! We applaud his choice of tux for its sheer utility and versatility: it time travels well through more than one century (we have it on good authority that it's still a smash in the 2300s!) and black isn't just slimming, it can also be covert! Keep up the good work, Mr. Ready!
Styled by: Mike Kruhalik
King Rex (Batman: The Brave and the Bold #21)
Yes, to be fair, the leader of this dinosaur criminal gang is ripping off Devil Dinosaur's style a bit, as the great comics blogger J. Caleb Mozzocco points out. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with following a trend — and King Rex adds the crucial element of stripey pants. Plus a nifty crown. So what he lacks in originality, he gains in pants.
Styled by: Eric Jones
Dinosaur Gentleman by Charcoal Angel at Deviant Art.
While some might argue that a top hat on an Apatosaurus is a stretch, we think this tail coat, monocle and top hat ensemble is a classic on any body type! Note the specially made monocle chain that extends the entire length of the neck. That takes some real dedication to details!
Styled by: Vanessa Bailey
When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth at Threadless.
Here is a spectacular group picture of the Pangean leaders. Their individual combinations of martial and formal wear (The plate armor! That daring ruff! Classic Centurion pteryges! An ermine edged robe! Bemedaled jackets for everyone!) create an image of strength, wisdom and leadership in the face of, inevitable, disaster.
Styled by: Brian Walline
Shirt available at Threadless.com.
Jungle Vindicator by Ulario at Deviant Art.
With beach weather soon upon us, a young woman's fancy turns to thoughts of the bikini. This racy jungle number has shell, teeth and bead detailing, and is crafted from high quality leather. The unfinished edges give it a dangerous, and dare we say, primitive look. The garters are dual functional: they hold ammunition and show off those gorgeous gams! And while we might not pack a spear for a day at the beach, we do love the embroidery details on the attached scarf. Magnifique dear!
Styled by: Traci Vermeesch-Vezina
Saurinoid (Transdimensional Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
The TMNT role-playing game included this amazing character, who's a dinosaur wearing a vest and what looks like a rocket-launcher or jetpack. And an amazing bandolier. You would not want to mess with this guy. Plus it's minimalistic and stylish.
Styled by: We're not sure.
Theodore Rex (Theodore Rex)
You can't really go wrong with a nice blue suit and an understated power tie... plus Theodore Rex has followed a winning strategy of finding someone with a truly hideous outfit to stand next to, thus ensuring that he'll look even more dapper by comparison. (Thanks g99!)
Styled by: Mary Vogt
The Sea Devils (Doctor Who)
String vests, with a sort of weird sash belt. If you're going to be swimming around the ocean, you might want something that soaks up a bit less water, and maybe something that makes your big "marching out onto the beach" moment look more splashy and less trashy.
Styled by: Maggie Fletcher
It's true that the cubicle dwellers among us may have given up on trying to impress, but that is no excuse for this! Shirts must be worn in public. And khaki! Perfectly suitable for a safari or central Asian land war, but must they be the only thing worn to the office? Come on men, you've got more imagination than that! This gentleman should be looking into purples and plums to highlight his lovely green hue. This khaki is just making him look vaguely ill.
Tyrannosaurus RAD by Joao Lauro Fonte at Threadless
Don't let anyone say we are harsh taskmasters here — we gave this young dino points for wearing his baseball cap correctly. Alas, we had to take them all away for the fact that he was wearing a baseball cap. Yes, youth culture, you have your own rules and they extend to clothes, but this hat and sneakers ensemble is not what we want the well-dressed young dino to wear in public. Plus what is up with those glasses? Step it up a notch! We know you can!
Awesome styling by: Joao Lauro Fonte
Shirt available from: Threadless
T-Mex from Teenormous
Oh Rex, we know you're capable of more than ethnic clothing stereotypes and bad facial hair. A good barber and a few hours in a reputable haberdashery should fix this. We hope.
Shirt available from: Wear Your Beer
The Sinclair Family (Dinosaurs)
Another group shot! But here we see what happens when dinosaurs just don't care about their clothing. But now it's just a mish-mash of half-made choices. Really these are just the non-outfits of the dinosaur world.
Super Dinosaur (Super Dinosaur #1)
We'll be the first to admit that we find battle armor awesome. And the tiny arm joy stick controls are a monument to form and functionality. But. This isn't a very versatile piece. Can you wear shoulder mounted missiles to brunch with a pair of espadrilles? Or accessorize those giant metal fists so that they work in the office? As Coco once said, Look in the mirror before you leave and take one thing off. We'd take off the mech armor.
Styled by: Jason Howard
President Koopa and the Goombas (Super Mario Bros.)
What the hell is going on with those jackets with the ridiculous lapels? Not to mention the weird tie pins. Sorry, Goombas. Come back when your costumes have evolved. Thanks for the reminder, Digit-Aria!
Styled by: Joseph Porro
The Voth (Star Trek: Voyager, "Distant Origin")
Okay, so the Voth are actually evolved dinosaurs in the future, who have traveled to the Delta Quadrant. But whether they count as dinosaurs or not, they really need a style upgrade. They should consult with Seven of Nine on ways to flatter their shape instead of working against it. The shapeless, lumpy robes they wear throughout this episode are an affront to the entire Quadrant. And what is up with that pitiful attempt at bling? What?
Styled by: Robert "Bob" Blackman