In celebration of Mermaid Day, we're paying tribute to Aquaman, the most marginalized superhero in history. Despite possessing fantastic ichthyosapien powers, Aquaman just doesn't get the love he deserves. Here are 25 reasons to appreciate this briny guy.
1.) Water covers 71% of the Earth's surface. Aquaman must patrol it all. Conversely, Batman spends most of his time patrolling Camden, New Jersey. And maybe Vineland, Glassboro, and Cinnaminson.
2.) Batman's sidekick is a flexible trapeze artist he pressgangs into a life of vigilantism. Aquaman's sidekick is Aqualad, but he's not important. Aquaman's other sidekick was a walrus. Wouldn't you like a walrus sidekick?
3.) For a while, Aquaman's left hand was a spring-loaded trident. Do you know how comically impractical that is? But still, he pulled it off.
4.) Both Aquaman and Namor are Atlantean royalty in their respective universes. Aquaman carried out of most of his duties wearing pants.
5.) Speaking of Namor, Aquaman once dropped Shamu on him.
6.) Aquaman commands such respect that he made all of his friends wear scuba gear to attend his wedding.
7.) The same goes for his funeral.
8.) Aquaman's rogues gallery is accommodating to his needs.
9.) Aquaman can control highly toxic cone shells with his mind.
10.) Aquaman can control the candiru with his mind.
11.) Aquaman can reach into the the vestigial corners of your brain and control you with his mind.
12.) On Smallville, Aquaman's girlfriend is a libertine nudist, making Lois Lane look like a total boring prude.
13.) Aquaman throws polar bears at bad guys.
14.) Aquaman has grouper butlers and octopus masseuses. Like from that shitty Flintstones movie!
15.) Aquaman can control land whales. Land whales, I say!
16.) Aquaman rode sharks as a child.
17.) As someone who can't spend a ton of time out of the water, Aquaman is a role model for responsible hydration. 8 glasses of water a day, kids! Plus it doesn't take that much to keep Aquaman hydrated.
18.) Aquaman maintains impeccable posture, even when trapped inside an atomic bomb.
19.) Aquaman's TV pilot had, of all people, Ving Rhames in it. Also, Ving Rhames is from Atlantis. Who knew?
20.) Aquaman builds random pieces of furniture out of cephalopods.
21.) Aquaman was relevant enough to get wrapped in Superman's crazy bullshit Silver Age schemes.
22.) Aquaman's disguises are extra porny.
23.) Unbeknownst to almost everyone, Aquaman is the master of hilarious wordplay.
24.) Aquaman is a certified octopus doctor.
25.) Aquaman understands that Hostess Fruit Pies are the international language. And look, his walrus sidekick!