Meet Lois Lane's new douchebag boyfriend, Jonathan Carroll

Remember those murmurs that Lois Lane and Clark Kent's marriage would be dissolved as part of DC Comics' big relaunch? Well, now it's official. In September's Superman #1, a mopey, tactless Clark Kent interrupts Lois and her new boyfriend — Daily Planet heartthrob Jonathan Caroll — mid-coitus. Take a hike, Smallville!

Merciful Rao, it's one thing to dissolve the poor guy's marriage using some vaguely defined cosmic chicanery, but it's extraordinarily brutal to transform Clark Kent into a walking, talking erection killer. It's even worse for him to use his super-hearing for super-voyeurism. Absolutely nobody in these panels comes out looking good.

In any case, I'm hoping "Jonathan Carroll" is a psuedonym for "John Constantine." Now that would be comedy.

Meet Lois Lane's new douchebag boyfriend, Jonathan Carroll

Meet Lois Lane's new douchebag boyfriend, Jonathan Carroll

[The NY Daily News via Comics Alliance]