Another day, another weird dead creature discovered by the side of the road. Last Thursday, a Milton, New Hampshire man found a dead shark in the forest, miles from the ocean. Alas, the Land Shark remains the purview of Saturday Night Live sketches.
The shark was found discarded here on some private property just off of Rural Tenerriffe Road, not far from busy Route 125 and the Spaulding Turnpike [...] There is a local pond in Milton, N.H., but the nearest salt water is nearly an hour away, and local residents are surprised.
Could this be a lost gift from Selachimorpha Claus, that Krampus-like being who gives bad children carnivorous fish every Shark Week? And if this noble fish was indeed dumped by some unscrupulous fishermen, they should be sentenced to 10 minutes with the cookiecutter shark.