Supergirl has generally been depicted as Superman's down-to-Earth cousin, but that doesn't mean she has daily trials that you and I can barely relate to.
Here are some of her day-to-day challenges that make our mortal problems look like a game of Tiddlywinks.
1.) Superman's unnerving comments about cousin love
One time Supergirl traveled to a Christmas party in the future in hopes of finding Superman a girlfriend. After setting him up with a married woman, she returned to present (1962!) with Clark Kent, where he lectured her about Kryptonian incest laws. Worst Christmas ever? Does Supergirl even celebrate Christmas?
(Action Comics 289)
2.) Lack of real estate in Superman's City of the Future
Seriously, there's Superboy's Home and a craft shop and whatever the hell "The Bizarro Playground" is. Maybe you shouldn't have ruined Future Christmas.
(Artwork by Neal Adams, via.)
3.) Your hair occasionally turns into snakes
I seriously can't remember why Hawkman really wanted to see Supergirl's hair, but I'm guessing they were having a competition involving shampoo or something.
4.) Your horse falls in love with you
We've covered this before, but it bears repeating. Supergirl's horse was in love with her. On an unrelated note, Supergirl's merman boyfriend? Class act.
(Action Comics 311)
Well, technically he's a "telepathic immortal Greek centaur trapped in the shape of a horse," but that doesn't make him any less of a passive-aggressive dude eternally trapped in the Friend Zone.
5.) You spontaneously turn into a werewolf on a date
Once Supergirl went on a date and Red Kryptonite spontaneously transformed her into a lycanthrope. Fortunately, she was able to call upon her ventriloquist robot to fool her beau and use her newfound hairy appearance to rescue a suicidal horror auteur. I sometimes wonder if Supergirl plots were written using a pile of several hundred verbs and nouns randomly plucked out of a derby hat.
6.) Carnivals = weird occasions for self-loathing
Similarly, the poisonous Red Kryptonite also caused Supergirl to spontaneously gain weight at a carnival. To avoid having the populace learn her secret, Supergirl does not use her super-speed to jet away and detox in the comfort of her home.
No, she attaches a string to herself to become a spectacle for leering carnival folk. Between this and Lois Lane's foibles, all men in old-school Superman comics apparently moonlighted as catcalling construction workers.
(Action Comics 283)
6.) Supergirl has to live with the guilt of killing the dinosaurs
Presented without comment.
(Action Comics 259)
7.) To impress schoolchildren, you sometimes dress as a fairy and do their bidding
I'm not sure why Kryptonians are always seeking the approval of idiot kids. This is not unlike how Superman occasionally and inexplicably challenges middle schoolers to mathematics competitions.
(Action Comics 257)
8.) Ungrateful humans
Seriously, what the fuck, Lady In The Canoe?
(Action Comics 305)
9.) George Washington's choice of sitting surfaces poison you
Actually, this panel really speaks to me.
(Action Comics 274)