To paraphrase Ray Davies of The Kinks, we all wish we could fly like Superman. Sadly, our stupid, non-Kryptonian DNA prevents mere humans like you and me from righting the Leaning Tower of Pisa, extinguishing the Olympic torch, and getting blotto and fighting the physical manifestations of our super-egos in junkyards. You know, all that fun stuff.

A distinct lack of extraterrestrial parentage however hasn't stopped 35-year-old Herbert Chavez of the Philippines from becoming the Last Son of Krypton. Since 1995, Chavez has gone under the knife many times to look like his favorite superhero. How drastically has he altered his appearance? Two words: thigh implants.

In a segment on ABS-CBN News (in Tagalog), this beauty pageant trainer spoke with a reporter about his Superman superfandom. He even revealed that he plans on traveling to Japan to surgically enhance his height (undoubtedly with a bone-breaking device on par with one of Lex Luthor's deathtraps). The medical professionals interviewed for the ABS-CBN report acknowledge that Chavez clearly suffers from some form of body dysmorphic disorder, as he won't stop getting plastic surgeries.

Folks, let's put it this way — if it makes you happy wearing a cowlick every day, do your thing. But I'm pretty sure nobody on this planet needs surgically enhanced thigh ridges. Mr. Chavez seems like a pretty savvy Supermanologist, so someone really must remind him that the Man of Steel wasn't a perfect specimen. Remember, he once turned into Satan.

PS: If the world ever becomes like that Buffy episode where everyone turns into their Halloween costumes, I'll be hanging with Mr. Chavez and this woman.

[Via Spot and CBM]