This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Halloween is coming up this weekend, and you still don't have a costume. Luckily, the store-bought costume industry is here for you! This year's weirdest, wrongest and sexiest ready-made Halloween costumes include Sucker Punch, various superheroes... and an inflatable Star Wars costume that you just have to see for yourself. Plus a large number of "steampunk" costumes that will make you cry.

Here are our favorites from among the latest offerings of the cheap-and-insane costume industry.

One day, years from now, your grandchildren will ask you what it was like to live at the peak of Western civilization, and the only thing you'll be able to say is, "They had pre-fab plastic-and-nylon costumes for every crappy movie and superhero movie franchise that came out. In those days you could be a sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, a sexy Power Ranger or a sexy "steampunk vampire" with almost no effort on your part. It was all right there." And your grandchildren won't understand. Unless the internet still exists and you can show them these images.

All pictures via Spirit Halloween.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

The Walking Dead. That's Rick Grimes, Patient Zombie, Zombie Girl, and the teen Rick Grimes costume.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Black Swan, plus a random Merlottes waitress uniform. Just because.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Captain America and the Red Skull

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Green Lantern. There's no new Hal Jordan costume, because one came out last year. But the Sinestro and Kilowog masks will give you nightmares. And there's "random sexy female Green Lantern" too.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Male and female Marvin the Martian costumes. Why not?

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo and Michelangelo, plus Kitana and Mileena from Mortal Kombat

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Pink Ranger and Red Ranger from Power Rangers, plus Lion-O from Thundercats

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Random fantasy babes, in descending order of WTFness. There's Unicorn Girl, I Dream of Jeannie, Snow White, and Sexy Red Riding Hood.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Random WTF costumes. There's Sexy Medusa, Zombie Ninja (!), and Sexy Witch. I like that somebody sat around the breakroom at the costume shop brainstorming "zombie ninja!"

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

More random WTF. There's "Lust in Space" girl. There's sexy COBRA girl from G.I. Joe, and then Rainbow Brite.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

More random WTF. On the far left is the sexy warrior Ophelia Booty. No, really. That's her name. Then there's Galaxy Girl. Then, because I didn't know where else to stick them, there's Fiona from Shrek, and then Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

For some reason, there's a new Red Mist costume — last year we had Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass. And there's the weirdest looking Sonic costume ever.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

A collection of Robot babes. There's Rosie the Jetsons' maid. Yeah, I know. And that's Robo-Babe and Robo-Bing. No, I don't know what that means either.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

The Star Wars costumes. And yes, that's an inflatable Tauntaun. You can't unsee that.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

For some reason, there are a lot of new steampunk costumes. Someone really needs to wear these to a steampunk convention and film people's reactions. On the far left is "Sir Steampunk." Then there's Steampunk General. And then Steampunk Vampiress. And finally Sexy Steampunk lady.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Three Sucker Punch costumes, plus a random Megan Fox from Jonah Hex. They didn't think we needed the Megan Fox costume last year — now, suddenly, we do.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

You didn't think superheroine costumes could get skankier? Ha ha ha ha. That's sexy Wolverine on the far right. I like sexy Batgirl, because criminals are a superstitious and horny lot.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Thor costumes, including deluxe Thor and regular crappy Thor.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

In previous years, there were Transformers costumes for women, but not for men. Now guys can be Bumblebee and Megatron too.

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Tron Legacy!

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

Sexy Vampire girls. The one second to left has the best facial expression, like "I am calling my modeling agent right after this shoot is finished."

This Year's Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween CostumesS

For some reason, there are some new versions of classic characters this year. Including Ghostbusters, Comedian from Watchmen, and Edward Scissorhands.