Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS

The American Film Market has ended, leaving behind images of ridiculous movie pitches and posters of hopeful films looking to be picked up.

We've flipped through, seeking the most spectacularly insane posters. Our personal favorite? Dances With Werewolves.

Posters discovered via Wired and THR.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS

Synopsis:

When a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark, the survivors escape to a deserted atoll. But when it starts flooding, the coeds are no longer safe from the double jaws of the monster.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS

Synopsis:

As the Dark Lord finalizes his plan to dominate our world, intrepid reporter Carl Kolchinski investigates.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to See


Synopsis:
Aspiring college cheerleader, Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. The drug has an unforseen side effect - Cassie starts to grow and grow and grow.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to See


Synopsis:

Six individuals are caught up in a supernatural perfect storm as an evil lays claim to one of them while threatening to tear apart the soul of a small Pennsylvania town.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to See

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to See


Synopsis:

A sinister team lead by Dark Vapor, Mini-Mall and Schwartzenator use the Dark Smell of the Force to fight Captain Kwirk, Mr. Spuck and Robofuzz in this crazy, out-of-this-world adventure.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS


Synopsis:

An underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean's surface unleashing a prehistoric predator. On the sleepy island of White Sands, local teens drink and party beside a beach bonfire. One of them wanders off after a pretty girl and disappears, leaving only a severed hand behind. It appears it's been bitten and ripped off by a vicious animal. This looks like a shark bite, but it's found well above the high tide line, it can't be a shark… Or can it? Jimmy Green (Corin Nemec), prodigal party boy and son of the mayor, returns home to White Sands with a scheme to breathe some life into the dying economy (and clear his debt to a mobster) by throwing a huge spring break party: The Sandman Festival. Jimmy runs into his ex, and now Deputy Sherriff, Brenda Young (Vanessa Lee Evigan). She and her brother, the Sheriff, want to close the island beaches in fear of further shark attacks, which would ruin Jimmy's plans. Brenda calls in an expert, shark scientist Dr. Sandy Powers (Brooke Hogan), as the attacks continue. Dr. Powers says it appears to be a sand shark, a beast which moves through the sand as if it was water. A shark is electrocuted by accident, but it's soon discovered that this shark, though gigantic, was only a baby! The festival continues and thousands of college kids arrive just as dozens of sand sharks make their presence known, attracted by the vibrations of the crowd and the PA system. The most menacing beasts to ever rule the waters, now rule the sand mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses their path. It's a giant feeding frenzy and it's up to Brenda, Sandy, the Sherriff, and Jimmy to stop the carnage.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS


Synopsis:

At the Silvadollaz strip club, a stripper named Justice performs a private lap dance for Mickey, a man who violates the no-touching policy ... by sprouting fangs and claws and trying to eat her! Justice panics and takes the only option open to her: she drives a silver fountain pen through Mickey's eye, into his brain, killing him instantly. Oops…

Jeanette, the club's owner, believes murdering customers is bad for business, so she orders the club's bouncer to quietly dispose of the body. There the matter should end ... if Mickey hadn't been a member of a bloodthirsty and vengeful pack of werewolves.

When Mickey's corpse surfaces, Jack Ferris, the werewolves' charming and vicious leader, swears bloody vengeance and sends his pack out to hunt down the killers. Little does he know, Justice is actually the fiancée of his second in command, Scott. To make matters worse, Justice bites Scott during sex and now may be infected with the curse of lycanthropy herself.

Add to the mix werewolf Barker, the masturbating man-child Sinclair, the occultist with low self-esteem a bevy of the most beautiful women this side of heaven and you have the perfect recipe for balls to the wall, skimpily clad, strippers on werewolves action-packed goodness.
Strippers v Werewolves - stripping has never been this hairy!

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS


Synopsis:

When a mysterious crate of exotic tea washes ashore a tiny fishing village, the locals find that the contents make an addictive herbal tea that turns the villagers into killer crazy zombies.

Totally Insane Posters for Movies You May Never Get to SeeS


Synopsis:

Vampire Dog is a feature length family film about finding courage and discovering that you belong. Ace, a 12-year-old boy is new in middle school. His grandfather from Transylvania passes away at the ripe age of
99, and sends him his dog, Fang, to look after. Ace soon discovers that Fang is a vampire dog.
Professor Warhol, a mad scientist and her bumbling assistant Frank, try to capture Fang to steal his DNA, in order to live
forever. They are constantly in pursuit of Fang but Fang uses his superpowers to stay one step ahead of them.
During their adventure Ace shows Fang how to behave like a normal dog and embrace his vampiric powers. Fang helps Ace open up and come alive again through his music.
Ace and Fang discover with the help of each other, when they face their fears, they can do anything.