If you're looking for natural male enhancement, don't graft dominos onto your nether bits

This may just be a less savory medical paper than the case of the STD-giving blow-up doll. In a recent study — "Subcutaneous Penile Insertion of Domino Fragments by Incarcerated Males in Southwest United States Prisons: A Report of Three Cases" — from the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers investigated a series of dire events that had nothing to do with a Van Morrison song:

Introduction.  Self-insertion of penile foreign bodies is performed worldwide, largely due to a perception that it will enhance sexual performance and virility. There are relatively few cases reported in the United States.

Aim.  We report three cases of Hispanic men incarcerated in separate southwest United States prisons who utilized a similar technique to insert foreign bodies fabricated out of dominos into the subcutaneous tissues of the penis [...]

Results.  In each case, an incarcerated Hispanic male or fellow inmate filed a domino into a unique shape for placement under the penile skin. Utilizing the tip of a ballpoint pen or a sharpened shard of plastic to create a puncture wound, each man inserted the domino fragment into the subcutaneous tissue of the penis. All three men presented with infection requiring operative removal.

Conclusions.  Incarcerated males put themselves at risk for injury and infection when attempting penile enhancement with improvised equipment.

Well, those are some rather elucidating conclusions. I wonder if these findings apply to Mah Jongg tiles as well.

Via Improbable Research. Image: Kayaker1024's Flickr.