Most of the Hunger Games tie-in merchandise we've come across is a nice mixture of enticing archery-inspired accessories, clever t-shirts and the classic Mockingjay pin.
But you can't have a massive teen franchise without creating a mountain of dreadful, morbid and downright disturbing merchandise. Insanely awful products that will make you wish you were being stung to death by tracker jackers. Behold the best of the worst of the Hunger Games merchandise.
Warning: There are some heavy-duty spoilers in this post...
Team Peeta Panties
"TEAM PEETA. A Sensitive Soul, With Great Buns."
And just in case you didn't get it, there's picture of a loaf of bread on the ass. It's a baking pun.
Yours now for just $17.50 over at Cafe Press.
And you thought the worst was the bread back Peeta Panties! Take a good long look at the "Avox Classic Thongs" for the thong enthusiast who likes to make gargling noises in the sack.
$12.40 at CafePress.
Joint Suicide Jewelry
There are entirely too many Hunger Games suicide-themed accessories on the internet. For those who have read the books, spoiler alert, you know that the Nightlock Berry not only took the life of the tribute only known as "Fox Face," but it's Katniss' greatest weapon. While Peeta is slowly bleeding to death, she hoists the berries to their mouths, threatening a joint suicide. Which turned the tides for our hero. And it also inspired a host of creepy joint suicide themed jewelry on Etsy. There's Nighlock charms from Tanglethorne, several different kinds of vials of "real" Nightlock berries, earrings, and pendants.
Hunger Games: The Bra
A lot of potential for some solid "clearly the odds favor lefty" jokes. Behold the Hunger Games Bra from Etsy user Gabriella Taylor.
Post this t-shirt on facebook and all of your friends will "like" the shit out of it. Nothing says activism like a movie tie-in. Kony Hunger Games T-Shirt, via Etsy user Raschel Charles.
An Effie Trinkett, Trinket!
GET IT? I knew you would get it. While it's a little strange, we have no problem with this necklace, it's adorable. Available at the Etsy shoppe ofCatQueen9991.
"A lightbulb? Fuck it, just put that bird on it." - Every marketer working on this film.
Get your $15 Hunger Games lightbulb at Amazon.
The Hunger Games, Furry Style
Behold, Katniss E-bear-deen! Perfect for your friend who wants to see what a tracker jacker fever dream looks like on paper. Drawn by hdorrell on Etsy.
Hunger Games Snuggie
For when your family is out of oil, but you're too chicken to sign up for tesserae. OH YES, I READ THE BOOKS!
[via Cafe Press]
Considering the pain these silver parachutes eventually deliver, isn't it a wee bit morbid to wear a silver parachute around your neck? Granted this particular parachute necklace is delivering Peeta's special knock out broth, not death — but wasn't the parachute symbol was forever tainted after the final book? Just saying. For sale at ArtFire.
"Muttation In Training" Pin
So you want The Capitol to murder you for entertainment, rip out your eyes, and turn you into a wolf? Yikes. Found at Foowahu's Etsy page.
Real Or Not Real Couples Jewelry
While very clever, I wouldn't want a piece of couples jewelry that reminded me of one person's months and months of torture and brain washing. True, it's a moment of love being expressed from a rather emotionally closed-off character, but it's kind of hard to separate all the horror from the intended sentiment.
[via Spiffing Jewelry ]
Katniss Barbie Doll
While no images have been released yet, the idea of our bad ass warrior hero with plastic perfectly pointed toes and an unnatural hour glass figure, makes us want to cry. It's just a terrible idea, terrible and missing the point of this character entirely. Here's the description for the Mattel toy:
With this Barbie Hunger Games Doll you can style Barbie just like Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games movie!Hunger Games, a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence, is adapted to film from the original young adult novel by writer Suzanne Collins. This doll's outfit is made to replicate the very same one worn by the feature character in the movie, and it measures around 12-inches tall! Ages 6 and up.
Special Thanks to Lauren Davis for help on this story!