Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

These aren't action figures depicting characters from the Turkish Star Wars (a.k.a. Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam or The Man Who Saved The World), but they're almost as great. Hailing from Turkey, these are Uzay action figures, an unabashed rip-off of Kenner's Star Wars line from the 1980s.

In a comical attempt to skirt copyright, the creators of these toys half-heartedly left letters off of the characters' names, so the galaxy was filled with cherished spacefarers like Dart Vader, See-Threep, the "Stormtroper," and (my favorite) the "Imperial Commande."

Also, everyday objects like gourds and calculators were utilized on the box photography to emulate a galaxy far, far away. Here's a synopsis from Joseph Yglesias at the Star Wars Collectors Archive:

No line of unlicensed Star Wars figures is as sought after as the Turkish line known as Uzay. Produced sometime in the latter part of the 1980s, the primary charm of the Uzay figures lies in their blister card art; not only are the card images incredibly cheesy, at their best they border on the psychadelic [...]

Trying to complete a set of Uzay carded figures is a daunting task; it might even be impossible. For one thing, the figures are exceedingly rare. Although certain figures, such as the AT-AT Driver and Stormtrooper, have turned up on the collector's market with some degree of frequency, others, among them the mysterious Head Man figure, are thought to be one-of-a-kind pieces....and their owners are often not easily persuaded to sell. Additionally, the packages of these figures are quite fragile; their bubbles, for instance, are made from a very weak and brittle plastic, which often breaks given the slightest abuse. In short, if you're a collector who wants to start collecting Uzay figures, you'd better be prepared to 1) spend a lot of money, and 2) accept lesser-condition pieces when the situation necessitates it. But don't worry, such concessions are made in the interest of collecting high quality, beautiful merchandise, right? Um...right?

Indeed, if you head over to eBay, the Imperial Gunner is going for $150 out-of-box. Says the buyer:

Head has been glued together. It was like that, when I bought it. I did not try to cut it of [sic] or something.

A Royal Guard is also going for nearly $350. There's even some sellers touting Uzay figures for a paltry $40. Yes, it appears the bootlegs are being bootlegged. io9 reader Ege Tülek has noticed an equally unscrupulous sales tactic:

Under one of the Chewbacca's it says "Aslan Adam" which means "Lion Man" in English and on the other one it writes "Maymun Adam" and that means "Monkey Man." So collecting one Chewbacca is not enough I suppose.

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

Turkish Star Wars action figures are gloriously awful

You can see more of these marvelously shitty toys at the Star Wars Collectors Archive.

Via Boing Boing. Top and bottom photos: Alex Bickmore/Toy Archive.