When it comes to supervillain class, nobody beats the Fantastic Four's arch-nemesis Doctor Doom. But despite his impervious metal suit and weapons-grade haughtiness, Doom has been knocked down a peg more times than he'd like to admit. Here are 10 of the Latverian dictator-for-life's most embarrassing moments — they involve squirrels, desserts, and magic trumpets.
10.) Doom gives toys to tots
In 1969, Jack Kirby drew up this sketch of a holiday appeal poster for Toys For Tots. As you can see on the right, that's Victor Von Doom venerably patting some unsuspecting child on the shoulder.
Was he infecting the stupid moppet with a nanotech virus that will transform his Little League team into mandrill-like abominations? Indubitably. The despot was excised from the final draft.
9.) Doom is reprimanded while eating lima bean chowder
1977's Mighty Marvel Superhero Cookbook featured this jarring tableau of the Scarlet Witch screaming at Doom before a bowl of steaming legumes. Nobody interrupts Doom's soup! Occasionally he forces his subjects to consume parfaits, but that's neither here nor there.
8.) Doom hides behind Henry Kissinger
In 1976, Doom got so damn tired of the Fantastic Four mucking up his plans that he invoked the powers of international realpolitik.
For a guy who's wielded the powers of the immortal space gods, this seems like an awfully lazy machination. And he didn't even transform Kissinger into some genus of mutant snake hominid, a conundrum Ronald Reagan once weathered.
7.) Doctor Doom, sexual predator
When it comes to the ladies, Doctor Doom is pure class. Hell, he once enjoyed a candlelit dinner with Storm from the X-Men. Sure, that date ended with her being trapped inside a chrome statue and being replaced with a robotic clone, but they stayed on speaking terms afterwards. That says a lot.
So yes, it was a tad bizarre to see the supervillain reenact the opening minutes of Braveheart in Super-Villain Team-Up #7. When Doom's not forcing tiramisu down their throats, it's all jus primae nocti. Latveria's a weird place.
6.) Doom falls off a cliff with a pack of wolves in tow
Incidentally, this is how Super-Villain Team-Up #7 ends. Given the way superhero comics work, I'm pretty sure those smushed wolves are due for a hologram-covered resurrection issue.
5.) Doom gets a cupcake to the face
In 1991's Avengers #333, Doom invaded the Avengers headquarters and held the superteam hostage with a neutron bomb. The impulsive who-cares superhero Rage wasn't having any of this, so he throttled the cad with a delicious dessert. Fortunately for Rage (and all of his stupid 1990s appendages), he had pastry-assaulted a lowly Doombot.
4.) Namor hates Doom's music
In the 1970s, Spidey Super Stories were a children's line of comics tied in with the web-slinger's appearances on the Electric Company. Because of this younger demographic, the regally verbose Doom was reduced to a muttering moron barely capable of buttoning his tin britches every morning. Here's a sampling of Doom's indignities (via here and here).
S S S S
3.) Doom is defeated by Squirrel Girl
In 1992's Marvel Super-Heroes #8, the novice superhero Squirrel Girl uses her band of mind-controlled rodents to rescue Iron Man from Doom. This ignominious defeat has since been expanded into a running gag that Squirrel Girl can best absolutely any supervillain in the Marvel Universe. Let's not even get into the time Doom was psychoanalyzed by Paul Stanley.
2.) Santa Doom
The 1991 issue of What The?! saw Doom play the role of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. For a non-canonical story, this yarn has done borderline irrevocable damage to his majesty's reputation.
1.) Doctor Doom is questionably racist, gets his ass whooped for $200
Finally, we have 1973's Luke Cage, Hero for Hire #8-9, in which Doom employs Luke Cage to defeat a bunch of rogue Doombots who have disguised themselves as African-American New Yorkers. When Doom skips town on the $200 fee, Cage borrows the Fantastic Four's jet, flies to Latveria, and beats the living hell out of Doom. All together now, "Where's my money, honey?"
BONUS PALATE CLEANSER #1: Doom doesn't give a fuck about art history.
BONUS PALATE CLEANSER #2: This is how you escape from an airplane.