For all of their well-meaning pageantry, real-life superheroes are still simply civilians in costumes. As the arrest of firearm-wielding Michigan superhero Bee Sting demonstrated, amateur superheroics can attract the vigilante element.

And Seattle superhero Phoenix Jones (previously: 1, 2, 3) may have his act together — as much as a guy who patrols dangerous neighborhoods in a latex bodysuit can have his act together (UPDATE: Jones was reported pepper-spraying May Day protesters in Seattle today) — but that's not good enough for the nefarious Rex Velvet, Seattle's first self-proclaimed real-life supervillain.

Who is Rex Velvet? We're not entirely sure, but he A.) has a better videographer than Phoenix Jones; and B.) he "greatly dislike[s] vigilante superheroes." If we go by the superhero power chart as delineated by 1992 Marvel Comics trading cards — diagram here — I imagine Rex Velvet would score paltry on "Energy Projection" and "Fighting Ability," but he might garner a solid "3" for his "Speed" rating.

Anyway, this seems like less of a Doctor Doom-style plot to overthrow the Rain City than one citizen's attempt to tell everyone to cut the shenanigans (by way of further shenanigans). We eagerly await the response of the Washington State Deadpool.

Via My Northwest. Hat tip to PunkJr!