Now you can buy Ronald Reagan's blood for $15,000

Or at least $15,000 for the time being — who knows how high this auction for the Gipper's dried hemoglobin will go? Indeed, someone is selling a sample of Ronald Reagan's blood collected after John Hinckley Jr.'s 1981 assassination attempt.

According to the owner of the blood-stained vial, his deceased mother worked at the laboratory that processed Reagan's blood work. Upon her passing, the seller has turned to the unscrupulous mad scientist community the internet. Explains the owner, "I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that Pres. Reagan himself would rather see me sell it rather than donating it." More choice quotes from the auction summary:

I contacted the Reagan National Library and spoke to the head of the library, a Federal Agent. I told him what I had, how I came across it and so on. We spoke for about 45 minutes. The reason that I contacted the Reagan National Library was to see if they would like to purchase it from me. He indicated that if I was interested in donating it he would see to it that he would take care of all of the arrangements. Prior to hanging up the phone, he said to me, do me a favor, don't move from where you are, I will call you back within 30 minutes but I have to make a couple of phone calls to seek legal counsel, consult with National Archives, the FBI and other three or four letter agencies that I have heard of. I said am I in any kind of trouble or will there be some black cars/SUVs or helicopters hovering above my home and he said not yet but possibly in the very near future depending on what he learned from the phone calls he had to make. I told him alright, I will not move from where I was sitting and would await his return call. He called back in 25 minutes and said that everything was ok, National Archives was not interested in what I had, nor was the Secret Service, the FBI and other agencies.

I sort of love the passage about the seller idly waiting for black helicopters to descend. It's a scene straight out of the most boring episode of The X-Files.

[PFC Auctions via The Atlantic]