Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a reality

You may remember how Aaron Diaz — the creator of the webcomic Dresdan Codak — gave the Justice League and Batman family rejiggered costumes, powers, and origins.

Now, he's bestowed the X-Men with a similar treatment, streamlining fifty years of continuity and giving the angst-ridden teens a more science fictional backstory. For example, Cyclops' crystalline eye is a portal to a red nebula that can be repositioned to transport solar flame and manipulate black holes. Diaz also wins points for resurrecting punk rock Storm, who now nourishes herself on ambient heat and whose "boots are there for kicking teeth." As he explains on his blog:

Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a reality

The primary change in my setting is that the mutations have a clear sci-fi foundation rather than just being random superpowers [...] Thousands of years ago, godlike alien beings known as Celestials came to Earth to secretly experiment on the human race. Their goal was to use homo sapiens as a genetic template to revive long-dead civilizations and species throughout the universe. However, their initial tests proved inconclusive, and the project was abandoned. What was unknown at the time was that the original "program" developed by the Celestials had spread and embedded itself onto the DNA of countless human beings and continued to be passed down through the generations, dormant.

I like Diaz's happy-go-lucky take on Colossus as a teenaged lug who desperately wants to be Superman, so he adds a completely unnecessary cape to his costume. Here are some of Diaz's more radical overhauls of the X-men mythos.

Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a reality

Physical education instructor Kurt Wagner, crystalline literature teacher Emma Frost, and semi-amnesiac history teacher Dr. James "Logan" Howlett:

Born in Macedon 2,500 years ago, Logan was the very first mutant, directly mutated by the Celestials along with three other subjects. However, he was an imperfect prototype and the mutation never solidly took hold, a side-effect being the occasional shift into a mindless killing animal with prortruding claws.

Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a reality

Dr. Magnus Eisenhardt, a Sentinel (at right), and Professor Xavier (center):

Charles founded the Xavier Institute for the Gifted in upstate New York. Masquerading as a prep school, it was in fact a safe haven for mutants wanting to further their education without the judgement found in the outside world. To maintain this, Charles routinely wipes the memories of anyone snooping around the grounds. He also maintains the public image (via telepathy) of an elderly man in a wheelchair.


Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a realityThe Brotherhood of Mutants: probability-processing Scarlet Witch, Havok, Magneto, the human-to-feral mad scientist Beast, and the mostly powerless Toad.

While in their research into Logan's history, Magnus and Xavier finally discover what the mutant race really is: a living database of all the greatest species of the Universe, seeded thousands of years earlier. Magneto is convinced that they are in fact Homo superior, and tries to persuade Xavier to share this knowledge with the world. Xavier, terrified that this will incite a race war, attempts to wipe Magnus's memory of the discovery and fails [...] Magneto takes a handful of loyal students with him to begin a new movement, with the goal of Mutants governing humanity.

Hey Marvel, make this X-Men reboot a reality

The theocratic mutant villain Apocalypse, 100-foot Juggernaut, and the chameleon-like Mystique, who were the four, 2,500-year-old original mutants alongside Logan:

Not completely understanding what had happened to him, Apocalypse developed a religion around the Celestials, and believed if he could complete their work, he would earn the right to himself become a Celestial. Apocalypse eventually found his three counterparts, and believed that each represented a primal element:

Fire - Wolverine
Earth - Juggernaut
Water - Mystique
Air - Apocalypse [...]

Apocalypse, in my reboot, is kind of the worst-case scenario of an underdeveloped civilization encountering aliens, using advanced technology that he doesn't really understand to fulfill a religious goal he invented.

You can read the full details of Diaz's nifty reboot here. [Via Newsarama]