Children of the night, feast your eyes on the first trailer for Twilight - Breaking Dawn Part 2! I gleaned most of my knowledge about Twilight from Burger King containers, so I'm going to guess this is just the unofficial sequel to the 1979 coming-of-age bicycling flick Breaking Away. Does everybody ride vampires in this flick? Is that what the kids are into nowadays? Does anybody summon Dracula using kung fu? We'll find out on November 16.

According to this trailer, Robert Smith is the Majority Whip of the Vampire House. Really should have seen that coming! Here's the plot synopsis for those of you who realize that Renesmee and Volturi are characters (and not different models of IKEA end tables):

After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.