Residents of the Chinese town of Liucunbu recently unearthed an unknown rubbery "fungus" deep underground while drilling a well. Perplexed by this mycological mystery, the workers consulted the investigative journalism program Xi'an Up Close, who sent reporter Ye Yunfeng on the scene. Once there, she soon identified the find as a mushroom of the region.

The only problem? The villagers had actually dug up a lost sex toy depicting a grotesquely disembodied vagina and anus. This led to a hearty amount of on-air, accidental innuendo. From the show's transcript (via Shanghaiist):

"On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips," [Ye] adds. "And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side. The object looks very shiny, and it feels really fleshy and meaty too."

"I've done my own research on the internet," says the afore-mentioned villager. "It's a type of lingzhi mushroom, called the taisui." [...] Without skipping a beat, reporter Ye chimes in with her own research, saying this type of lingzhi is generally found in the Shaanxi region deep underground and is hence rarely seen. "When the Emperor Qin Shi Huang was on the hunt for the secret to longevity," she elucidates, "it is said he discovered this lingzhi was the answer."

In response to the ensuing internet mockery, Xi'an Up Close offered up a damning apology. Said the show in an online statement, "As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone." On the contrary, I bet there's some lucky soul out there clapping gleefully, itching to be reunited with his dual-orificed paramour.

[Via Arbroath]