Were you pondering purchasing contraband pyrotechnics this Fourth of July? Are you a child actor who can't act? If you answered "Yes!" and "Wurgh?" — don't even think about it, scum.

Should you even consider detonating an illegally acquired bottle rocket, Preventor — a fireworks-hating Darth Vader invented by the Office of the California Fire Marshal in the 1990s — will teleport down to Earth and crush your brainpan with dropped knowledge.

Here's the best scene from Preventor's anti-patriotic-explosions PSA, Dangerous Games. Please note the intricate world-building. Preventor is basically the Batman of Roman candles. Or is he the Judge Dredd of cherry bombs?

[Via Laughing Squid]