OmniCorp, the technology company that brought you RoboCop TM, is offering early attendees of Comic-Con a special offer this evening. You and your family will get a free year of police protection if you'll sign over ownership of your brain and spinal column to OmniCorp today. It's easy! When you get your bar code scanned to get your Comic-Con badge, just ask for the brains-for-brawn deal and you'll be signed up automatically. Alternately, you can "like" Corporate Police State on Facebook before midnight to get the same deal. Don't you feel safer already?
Oh, and by the way: Welcome to San Diego Comic-Con 2012, everybody.