We love ourselves some old-school pick-a-path novels around these parts, mostly for the litany of confusing deaths that were foisted upon the barely literate reader. The proprietors of the Tumblr "You Chose Wrong" also remember these many horrendous demises fondly and have thus devoted an entire blog to them. My favorite is this unusually matter-of-fact passage from a 1987 G.I. Joe children's book:
The rest of the team has gone to face the interrogation and torture of the monstrous COBRA. That leaves you to face a different kind of interrogation and torture. The desert's merciless sun and heat will force you to answer the question, "What kind of man are you, really?"
The answer is, brave. But bravery has never been enough to defeat this desert.
Days later, Hawk's rescue squad finds your brave, lost, dehydrated, and dead body among the dust and spiders of Death Valley.
"Good men have to die sometimes too," Hawk says sadly as he turns to rescue the rest of the team and to destroy COBRA's underground mind control research labs.
[Via The Retroist]