Man admitted to New Zealand hospital with eel stuck in his rear end

Because hospital reports of spiders living in women's ears and fish jumping down children's throats aren't harrowing enough, here's some more shudder gasoline for the nightmare conflagration raging in your brain. As The New Zealand Herald reports of a patient at Auckland City Hospital last week:

"The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place," a hospital source said. "Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first." [...]

"In response to a direct query from the Herald on Sunday, we can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him," Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, said [in what was inarguably the most important press statement of anybody's career].

It is unclear what species of eel this was. And if anybody in the comments makes a pun about "eelicit behavior," shame on you, and shame on our culture wholesale for prodding you to this juncture.

PREVIOUSLY: Death by moray, Roman style.

Image via very germane to this discussion.