What if David the Gnome was a dipsomaniac, a demolitions expert, and under the employ of the United States government? Then his escapades would likely resemble those of the diminutive hell-raisers in Gnomeland Security, a new three-part web series by Dark Igloo, {group theory}, and Shift Editorial.

And courtesy of those aforementioned groups, here's an exclusive first look at the debut episode of Gnomeland Security, which sees the gnome squad combat goose terrorism. The ribald synopsis:

Gnomeland Security are the adventures of five idiotic gnomes as they struggle to protect our nation from the animal kingdom's foulest terrorists. From the perspective of most Americans, animal terrorism looks a lot like "natural occurrences," which is why you've had no idea that this secret task force of mercenary delinquents has been keeping your ass safe — until now!

Punchy, Boomer, Trigger, Creeps and Kevin head deep into the marshlands surrounding La Guardia airport, where they read some legal documents and may or may not end up drunk driving a fox.

You can find more information on Gnomeland Security at the series' website. The next episode hits the internet next Wednesday, October 17, and will certainly be more scarring than the time David the Gnome died and turned into a psychedelic tree.

Watch the first episode of Gnomeland Security, a cartoon about drunk anti-terrorist gnomes