So last night's Supernatural was — and I know this will shock you — full of unresolved brother issues. Luckily, Garth came back to liven things up a bit. And a Confederate soldier taught us all about Civil War history in Missouri.

Spoilers ahead.

This was one of those episodes where the gory scenes were really gory, and the twist was very un-twisty. It wasn't a great tradeoff. We start with a woman kicking the jack out from under the car her husband is working on. Oof! Seriously horrific. Then she starts the car. Barf! Splat! And then the next day her son kills a guy with a shovel in the gut! Next a cop shoots his boss while the guy is eating a really messy sandwich! Lots of splatter but not much mystery.

Sam and Dean show up, find Garth there doing Bobby's old job (cue at least 40 minutes of "you're no Bobby" from Dean), and figure out that everybody is being gunked by a spectre. You can tell when they've been gunked because green slime bubbles out of their ears and a guy in a seriously bad wig and zombie Confederate costume crackles behind their faces in that TV-static style that all ghosts have adopted since seeing The Ring. Turns out some kids disturbed the grave of the unknown Confederate soldier, who fought on the other side of the war from his brother . . . Missouri was on the border so brother fought brother . . . Civil War . . . humina humina . . . spectre now unleashed on the world to gunk people into acting on their pent-up feelings of political alienation from those damn liberals who run the government.

I love the bit where we learn this, and Dean actually says, "Brother fought brother in the Civil War?!" And you realize that while you were watching the Hitler Channel your whole life Dean was watching only anime so it makes sense that he doesn't know anything about Missouri.

Anyway the spectre of the soldier is now attached to a penny he wore around his neck, and anybody who touches the penny will be compelled to act on any feelings of betrayal he or she might have. And guess who will wind up with that penny? Mr. Betrayal And Resentment himself, Dean Winchester. Luckily Mr. Passive Aggressive, AKA Sam, is there to almost eat Dean's gunktastic bullet. Garth intervenes with some New Agey crap, and everything winds down.

Now it's time to process our feelings. We got a lot of really bad Sam flashbacks in this episode to his budding relationship with Amelia, which we now know for certain was founded on neediness and unresolved grief. She lost her husband in Afghanistan, Sam lost Dean in Purgatory, they have sex, they bond, they try to prove to each other that they don't pity each other. Amelia wears a really cute yellow cardigan which I fixated on instead of listening to the bad "OMG I totally trust you now my wounded boyfriend" dialogue. Seeing all this was not only annoying, but also made me hate Sam more for randomly abandoning his girlfriend who already has major abandonment issues.

At last Sam confronts Dean about Bennie, and says, "Hey I told you about my girlfriend and was totally up front about it, but you didn't tell me about your new boyfriend Bennie. You had secrets!" And Dean is like whatever. So Sam says, "Well one day I might kill your boyfriend because he's a vampire." And Dean says, "Well, I'm going to have his baby and he's going to turn me into a vampire and then I'll be totally sparkletastic!" And then they both get in the car and growl a lot and the souls of a thousand fans cry out in pain.

Stop the resentment, boys! Listen to Garth! It's time to watch some Oh! My Goddess together and feel the love.