8 ways X-Men movie continuity is irretrievably fucked

With the news that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are in talks to reprise their roles as Professor X and Magneto, respectively, in the upcoming X-Men: First Class sequel Days of Future Past, Fox made a statement: That the X-Men movies are one continuity. They also made another statement: We are morons. In a mere five films, the X-Men movie-verse has managed to contradict itself multiple times, not just in little details, but key events, major characters and more. Here are the most grievous errors the X-movies have made… so far.

1) Professor X

In First Class, Magneto accidentally paralyzed his friend Charles in 1962, then abandoned him and his cause of peace between mutants and humans. They must have patched things up - literally - because the two are seen palling around together in The Last Stand's flashback, where they both walk into young Jean Grey's house at some point in the ‘70s. And in 1985, according to X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Professor X is still standing when he's summoning all those kids out of the mutant prison - only to be in a wheelchair when 2000's X-Men rolls around (sorry about the pun). Guess Chuck must've slipped in the shower or something.

2) Emma Frost

8 ways X-Men movie continuity is irretrievably fucked

In the ‘60s-set First Class, Sebastian Shaw's second-in-command is the pro-lingerie Emma Frost, who can turn into diamond (and acts almost as well as one, but whatever). Yet at the end of Wolverine, set in 1985, we clearly see a young girl who can turn into diamond at the mutant prison facility. Is she a relative of Emma's? Another girl with the same mutation? Well, the cast lists for both movies name each girl Emma Frost, so it's probably just a fuck-up.

3) Beast

8 ways X-Men movie continuity is irretrievably fucked

In the ‘60s, Hank McCoy looks like a regular dude… who turns into a blue cat person. In X-2, he's fully human again (and played by Steve Bacic). And then in The Last Stand, he's blue and furry again and talks like Frasier from Cheers… but he's clearly a furry blue human, not a cat person. His mutation must be mutating!

4) The Summers Brothers

In First Class, Xavier and Magneto recruit Alex Summers, a.k.a. Havok, a.k.a. Scott Summers' brother. Since Cyclops is a main part of Professor X's 2000 team, that means his brother is about 40 years older than he is (although technically Havok is Cyclops' younger brother in the comics,). Except when Professor X uses Cerebro in First Class in the ‘60s, he sees a kid who is pretty clearly Cyclops - and he definitely sees a young Storm. Which means both Cyclops and Storm should be about 50 when X-Men starts in 2000. They aren't.

5) Sabretooth

When Wolverine meets Professor X and Sabretooth in X-Men, he doesn't know them. Of course, he was recruited by Xavier - very briefly - in the ‘60s, and spent most of the 20th century with his half-brother Victor Creed. I don't begrudge Wolverine not remembering someone he met (but didn't even look at) for 30 seconds in the '60s, and regarding Sabretooth, Logan has the excuse that someone shot a magic amnesia bullet into his brain (which is a plot device so stupid even the X-Men comics never used it). But even if we assume Professor X is playing it cool when Logan finally joins his team 40 years later, what the hell is Sabretooth's excuse for not recognizing his half-brother in X-Men? Also, why does he look completely different?

6) Moira MacTaggart

8 ways X-Men movie continuity is irretrievably fucked

In 2006's The Last Stand, Moira MacTaggart is a 38-year-old Scottish doctor researching the mutant gene. In the ‘60s-set First Class, Moira MacTaggart is a 32-year-old American CIA agent who has no problem infilitrating dangerous places in her underpants. SPOT THE DIFFERENCE.

7) General Lies

In X-Men, Xavier says that Magneto helped him build Cerebro, but in First Class Beast had it built before Professor X ever got there. Xavier also says Magneto made his helmet through his work with Cerebro, but in First Class he just stole it from Kevion Bacon. In X-Men Xavier says he met Magneto when he was 17. In First Class they first meet when they're like 30. And if Xavier and Mystique were BFFs in First Class, why didn't either of them acknowledge the other at any point during the X-Men trilogy? And why did Xavier say Cyclops, Jean Grey and Storm were his first students in X-Men when clearly he was teaching for at least a decade before he met them? Is Professor X a pathological liar?

8) Deadpool

8 ways X-Men movie continuity is irretrievably fucked

Technically, since Deadpool only appeared in Wolverine, he can't be considered a continuity error. However, I think we can all agree that how he was presented in the movie was a massive, massive fuck-up. Plus, if Fox ever gets around to making that Deadpool movie with Ryan Reynolds, he's instantly going to be a continuity error unless the movie has his mouth sealed, blades coming out of his arms, and gives him the ability to fire Cyclops' optic blasts. Which would be terrible.

There are plenty of other minor discrepancies, discussed throughout the Nerdenet, but also some extremely ludicrous explanations for them. Apologists - and I can't believe X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Last Stand have apologists - point out that Professor X has gained and lost the use of his legs in the comics multiple times, that Beast has repeatedly transformed back and forth, that occasionally characters seem to get younger, and so forth. This is all true. However, the X-Men comics have had 50 years to get this fucked up. The X-Men movie franchise has only had five movies; there's no way it should be this twisted already.

More importantly, just because the comics have had countless retcons and errors, why does that make it somehow okay for the movies to have them? Just because Marvel can't decide what they want Beast to look like doesn't mean the movies have to have him randomly change back-and-forth every time he shows up on-screen. We accept these things in the comics because there's so much history and story that it would be impossible to keep every detail on track - there have only been five movies, and only three of them were any good. It should not be hard for Fox to maintain one semi-coherent timeline, okay?