A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panels

Frank Miller is a genius whose seminal works helped transform comics in the '80s from a children's medium to a legitimately accepted art form. Unfortunately, he's recently been under attack... by Frank Miller. The current work Miller is doing seems like it's purposefully, relentlessly trying to destroy his own reputation with horrible comics, horrible art and just general horribleness. Here are 13 panels written and/or drawn by Frank Miller at his worst. This list is hardly comprehensive, so feel free to add your "favorites" in the comments.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

1) Meet the Goddamn Batman

When compiling a list of terrible Frank Miller panels, one must always fight the inclination to pull all of them from All-Star Batman & Robin. That said, the panel where Batman sullenly asks Dick Grayson if he's retarded (for not immediately recognizing the man dressed up in the vague bat-costume who just kidnapped him as Batman) is regarded as legendarily awful, and justly so.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

2) The Improbable Hulk

While Frank Miller's best work dominated the ‘80s, it's worth noting he wasn't always a genius, as evidenced by this 1981 cover to The Incredible Hulk #264. I have no idea what's up with the Hulk's proportions - it seems like he's melting or something, but I do know that the woman is clearly at least as tall as he is, and the Hulk and the ghost children are standing on two completely separate planes. No wonder the Hulk is so angry.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

3) The Embrace

Just try to figure out how Superman must be holding Wonder Woman to make this Dark Knight Strikes Again image physically possible. Superman has many powers, but I'm pretty sure making his arms non-existent isn't one of them. Also note the S-shield on Superman's cape - and how it is directly facing the audience, and how Miller's concession to how fabric actually works is to simply draw a few lines over it. And you might as well note how the cape fails to contour to any portion of WW's body while you're at it.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

4) Not-so-Brightest Day

This is an All-Star Batman panel where the Green Lantern says exactly what's on his mind in a manner that would have seemed cheesy back on the ‘60s Batman show. It may not have the "crazy" factor of Batman calling Robin retarded, but this is exactly what I mean when I said it's like Miller is trying to erase all the good he did the comics medium with his seminal works in the ‘80s. It's almost unfathomable that the same guy who wrote The Dark Knight Returns wrote this line of dialogue. But he did!

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

5) This Is a Joke, Right?

These two DKSA panels are both supposed to picture the Joker. Moving on.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panels

6) Threading the Needle

Frank Miller didn't draw the original Robocop comics, but he did write them, meaning I'm 99% certain Frank Miller coined the impossibly terrible sexual euphemism "feed you the hot beef needle." Alas, it failed to catch on, as Google lists less than 8,000 results for "beef needle," most of them food-related. Urban Dictionary includes "rusty beef needle" as a sex act (which involves a tiny penis and a woman on her period, for the record), but I'm pretty sure Frank Miller submitted it himself.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

7) Car Trouble

Batman as a petulant, immature maniac with a potty mouth? Oh, All-Star Batman. I have a confession, though: I love All-Star Batman, unironicslly. It cracks me up. Oh, I agree it's probably the worst, most inappropriate interpretation of Batman ever, but if you can get past that, it's hysterically funny, and this is one of my favorite panels.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

8) Chest Pains

If I saw anyone whose torso looked like WW's does in this DKSA panel in real life. I would call an ambulance immediately.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

9) Terror Is Right

While Dark Knight Strikes Again and All-Star Batman usually get all the hate, it's worth remembering that Frank Miller's Holy Terror is one of the worst comis ever created. A tale of a Batman-esque psychotic that decides to take on Al-Qaeda, it's a nothing more that an ignorant, hate-filled screed against all of Islam that boldly states that every single Muslim is a ranting terrorist (just like every Christian belongs to the Westboro Baptist Church). The amazing thing that, as poorly informed and thought out as it is, it's even more poorly drawn. Showing more than one panel from Holy Terror is giving this crap more attention than it deserves, so I've elected to choose whatever the hell is going on in this one.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panels

10) It's All in the Hips

Here, Miller, manages to draw a robot's hips wrong. It's actually kind of impressive, when you think about it.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

11) He's a Handfull

If you can ignore the fact that Batman appears to have gone through the dryer too many times - and that he's calling Robin "Bunky" and "Dickster" - look at Robin's hands. LOOK AT THEM.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

12) Balancing Act

Okay, one more Holy Terror panel, just in case you weren't convinced of its wretchedness. Here, Miller combines torture, racism, the total disregard of how human bodies and perspective work, and just generally awfulness. Oh, and the "hero" has his foot wedged in this guy's ass. Whee.

A child’s treasury of 13 horrible Frank Miller comic panelsS

13) Taking It to the Bank

And the coup de grace! Is there more insane, willful misrepresentation of a well-known, long-established pop culture character than All-Star Batman's Wonder Woman calling a random guy a "sperm bank"? Could there be a more fundamentally inappropriate line that completely ignores pretty much everything the character has stood for for the last 80 years? I've been racking my brain, and all I can come up with is "Bitches, man." Or maybe something about menstruation.