When the world ends, what are you going to do with your data? Luckily there's a startup for that. Off World Backup promises that they can save your data even if "we can't save you." Now you can save your most valued files in a cloud whose servers are located on Mars, the Moon, and various space stations around the system. It's safe, and it makes the perfect gift for loved ones this apocalypse season. Plus you can monitor your server status constantly, just to see how things are going in the Ferdowski Colo on Mars.
On their site, these intrepid space entrepreneurs write:
Our proprietary process gets your data encrypted, transmitted and stored through our state of the art satellite array. Your content is initially stored locally within our super secret server bunker protected by a MagnetoPlasmic Repulsar Field (trademark pending) powered by a completely green geothermal energy transducers located several miles under a remote mountain range. Data is then methodically broadcast up to our geosynchronous satellite web where your data is encrypted using our quantum bilateral encryption technology. From there we bounce your data through a series of parallel redundant transitional satellites spanning all the way to our various data centers sprinkled around the solar system, with our main facility located within the walls of Olympus Mons on Mars. In case of disruption our satellites implements various algorithms derived from the Nash Equilibrium to find the most beneficial and efficient path to store your data safely and securely. Our martian armed guards are on staff 25 hours a day to provide that last bit of security, to allow you to have one last comfortable night's sleep, knowing that your data, business and personal, will be ready for you when you need it in the post-apocalyptic rebuild.
Right. Listen and learn, seasteaders — this is a way cooler idea than Havenco, the server farm on the independent nation-state known as Sealand.
Still having a hard time understanding the importance of this service? Off World Backups explains in this fine illustrated guide to their services (click to embiggen):
For the .0001 percent of you who have never seen an internet joke before, this is one. And it's awesomely hilarious — especially because it's all too believable as the kind of thing the space-obsessed nutjobs in Silicon Valley would actually fund. The dice are a nice touch. Check out the site at Off World Backup.