Holy hell we are so excited for the bizarro action movie Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Starring the puppy-faced Jeremy Renner as an older, murderous Hansel and Gemma Arterton as his jaded sister Gretel, the two characters traverse the past with a collection of laughably modern attitudes while slaying local witches. These are the first-ever clips from the movie, and they are ridiculous. A little piece of our soul snapped off when Hansel says, "Don't eat the @#$%ing candy." We may have to see this movie eight times in a row.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters hits theaters on January 25th.