Warning: Before you watch this video, you need to turn down the lights. Put on some soft music, preferably in the Marvin Gaye area. Maybe light some candles. And then, and only then, will you truly appreciate this terrifyingly lengthy video of a German anime fan slowly and deliberately licking every buxom anime figure he owns in a bewildering attempt to see if he turns into a beautiful woman at some point in the process. Did I mention he's wearing a Japanese girl's high school swimsuit? Because I'm pretty sure he's wearing a Japanese girl's high school swimsuit.

And people say romance is dead.

[Awesome Robot via Fark]