Being dead — yeah, it's a thing that happened. It was a little awkward. But get over it, OK? Use your app, take your meds, whatever. It sucks to be a hipster zombie, but here are nine examples of the hip and partially dead who are totally making the best of it.
1. Warm Bodies
In this rom-com zombie movie, a lonely teen zombie who lives in an airplane eats the brains of another teenager and absorbs his memories of being in love with a hot girl. Luckily, that hot girl is nearby and our disaffected zombie is able to rescue her again and again from the other zombies — who just don't get it, OK? Slowly, the girl awakens our zombie's living side again, helping him understand that relationships based on Twilight are the hallmark of their generation.
2. I Was a Teenage Zombie
But it isn't just the millennial crowd who has the corner on zombie hipsterism. The whole thing got started back in 1987, with this insane new wave movie about a drug dealer who becomes a zombie and begins to infect the cool kids of New York City. The movie featured a ton of post-punk and new wave music, and even had a bit of an MTV hit with this video (above) by The Fleshtones, featuring key scenes from the movie.
3. Hipster Zombies mobile game
Kill hipster zombies, even if you like zombies. What could be hipper than that? Maybe Rob Zombie, but that's about it.
4. In the Flesh
This incredible BBC series is about a zombie outbreak that has recently been contained with new zombie-suppressant drugs. Our main character Kieran is a sensitive lad who became a zombie after committing suicide over the death of his best friend. Now injected with a giant needle in the back of his neck on a daily basis, he's perhaps the best emo zombie ever created. His mopey, pale face makes him the poster child for the hipster zombie look.
Is there anything better than a Canadian zombie love story? No, of course there isn't. Carrie-Ann Moss plays a lonely housewife whose husband works for the company that invented the zombie control collar — a behavior-modification device that prevents the undead from biting or eating you, and turns them into nice slaves. Fido, the zombie house slave, becomes Moss' constant companion, and then their odd relationship blossoms into something more. With their retro-1950s outfits and irony-inflected lifestyle, this couple is pure zombie hipster win.
6. Evil Dead 2013 remake
In this updated version of Sam Raimi's classic 1980s gorefest, a group of unbelievably hip campers are transformed into the flesh-chomping, chainsaw-wielding, eyeball-popping, self-amputating undead. Nothing better than watching that guy with the scraggle beard get shot full of nails and then finally turn into a necrotic beast of Satan.
7. Dawn of the Dead
This is another classic, the 1978 sequel to George Romero's incredible 1969 cult flick Night of the Living Dead. In this movie, Romero reminded us that just because you're dead doesn't mean you lose your lust for Hot Topic and other awesome mall stores. When one of the characters asks why the zombies are attracted to the mall, another answers, "Instinct . . . This is an important place in their lives." Now we know where all those zombie hipsters get their Converse sneakers and straw hats.
8. Zombie Strippers
A military zombie virus, designed to force soldiers to keep fighting after they die, gets loose in a strip club. People quote from existentialist philosophy. Hipster porn star Jenna Jameson leads the undead pack. Robert Englund is the strip club impressario. This tale transcends zombie hipsterism and achieves something like Nirvana. The place, not the band, you 90s retro grunge obsessive.
9. Ghosts of Mars
Watch Natasha Henstridge, Pam Grier, Jason Statham and Ice Cube get attacked by Burning Man reject zombies! When a distant outpost on Mars stops transmitting, a crack fighting team from the lesbian matriarchal military must go in and save everybody. Yes, that is really the plot. And it turns out the problem is that the zombies just want to play Thunderdome and burn the man in Black Rock Desert! Dammit — why can't the hip lesbians just let the hip Burners do their thing?
Honorable Mention: Zombieland
There are so many movies about hipsters fighting zombies, from Wild Zero to Shaun of the Dead. But the one closest to our hearts is Zombieland, if only because the semi-ironic voiceover from Jesse Eisenberg has become so classic that his rules for fighting zombies have become sort of like the "three laws of robotics" for future stories in the genre. Double tap!