A totally worthless ranking of American penis sizes, by stateS

The online condom vendor Condomania has compiled its sales data to produce the latest in a long line of not-at-all-definitive penis-size rankings.

The worthlessness of this ranking, of course, has to do with the fact that Condomania's data is based on the sale of condoms of various size, which is to say it tells us about what kind of condoms people in these states are buying, but not really anything about the penises that those condoms are being used on*. As far as data goes, this is probably even less reliable that the self-reported numbers used in actual studies on penis length. For all we know, what this list is really telling us is that North Dakotans have an over-inflated vision of themselves (or, at least, their genitals).

That being said, it is pretty great to see Texas, bastion of all things bigger, so far down the list:

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi

Hooray for penis pseudoscience!

*It also looks nothing like this older version of the list, released in 2010.

[Via Time]

Top photo via Shutterstock.