Arrow shows that the rich are terrible, terrible people

Also, FEMA kind of sucks. And the poor aren't making a particularly good showing in this episode. But the rich are awful. Hoo boy, burn 'em.

This episode, "Identity," doesn't have a lot of action on the island, so we'll cover it quick. One, they find an old cave from World War II. Two, Slade seems jealous of Ollie and Shado's relationship and starts sowing the seeds of discord between Shado and Ollie. Three, there's one scene, in which Shado and Ollie ambiguously hook up, that reminds me of a similar scene in the '80s comics — which many fans pointed to as Ollie having cheated on Dinah. I want to mention that because when a comic book geek knows something, there is no force in the world, certainly not the need for brevity, that will stop them from mentioning it.

Arrow shows that the rich are terrible, terrible people

Now! To crucify the rich people! Justifiably, according to Alderman Sebastian Blood (and there's a name that has no possible connotations of evil), who says, "Crucifixion has a bad reputation." He's totally proved right by the end of the episode, although not for the reasons he believes. He thinks the elite are evil because Ollie bailed on a charity benefit that Ollie himself organized (in order to go be Green Arrow). I have better reasons.

Roy has continued his amateur vigilante theatrics, nearly getting himself killed when he attempts to stop the hijacking of a FEMA truck carrying medicine to a hospital. (He fails, the FEMA truck gets taken, and China White stabs the FEMA drivers.) Laurel tries to dissuade him from the path of The Vigilante. Ollie does, too. The guys have a Psycho Eyes contest. Ollie sticks to his usual trick of making his eyes look like marbles that have been rolled through hell and set on fire. Roy shakes and twitches like a serial killer being pre-electrocuted for his crimes.

Arrow shows that the rich are terrible, terrible people

Then Thea fires her boyfriend. Technically, Thea, as the manager of a nightclub, has a right to fire an employee. But she makes it clear that she's firing Roy because she can't be his girlfriend if he's keeping up the vigilantism. And, it appears, if she can't be his girlfriend, he can't be her employee. At the end of the episode, Green Arrow appears to Roy and asks him to stop getting into fights and instead be a mole in The Glades. So Roy goes back to Thea. Or an unskilled employee, with an arrest record, in a severely depressed area of the country, goes back to banging his billionaire boss so he's not turned out into the street. I'm not saying that that's actually what's happening. I'm just saying it looks really, really bad.

What also looks bad is when Ollie announces that Felicity will officially be his secretary. It looks like my question from last week was answered in the worst way possible. Felicity throws a fit, which is totally appropriate. Ollie explains that he can't keep taking an elevator down 18 floors whenever he needs to talk to her. Dig, by the way, says that Felicity is lucky, as his title has been "Black Driver," which is both a point and a reproach to both Ollie and Felicity. Ollie then says, and I still can't believe it, that if he has to be a CEO, the Arrow crew has to get used to their job titles. Yeah. It's a shame and all, that they're stuck with bad titles as cover identities, but if Oliver Queen has to content himself with power and the position of CEO, the rest of them should settle as well. The fact that their jobs don't come with money or prestige or job satisfaction . . . well that's sad and all, but what are you gonna do?

Arrow shows that the rich are terrible, terrible people

Ollie fails at rescuing on of the FEMA trucks because China White gets back-up from Bronze Tiger. The drivers of this FEMA truck are also stabbed to death. And this is where FEMA starts to look ridiculous. When Ollie has to abandon his benefit for The Glades to rescue the third load of supplies, China has just finished stabbing yet another driver. So with a one hundred percent mortality rate, FEMA is just sending in more drivers. Does it stop when the last FEMA employee dies, or will they run out of trucks before that?

Ollie, with the help of Dig, takes out China White and Bronze Tiger — both nonfatally. He ends the day watching footage of Alderman Blood ranting about his irresponsibility on television in his office. And Felicity sympathetically brings him coffee.

Are. You. Shitting me. Seriously? That's how this is resolved? Ollie doesn't make Felicity — someone who can apparently master every piece of technology presented to her — the head of technological development or something? He doesn't make Dig, who has managed to track him down on an island in the middle of nowhere, the head of security? He just keeps them on as a driver and a coffee girl because the elevator trip is too long and someone was mean about him on the news? Good god. I hope Dig and Felicity turn evil by the end of this season.

And just when I'm about to call this episode a wash, something wonderful happens. Green Arrow goes to Laurel to plead his case. She acts cold, and irrationally blames him for Tommy's death. Then she pushes a button and the entire room is filled with police officers carrying guns. She knew he was coming and set him up. Laurel! Who knew? Who knew you were going to be the stand-out character of the episode! I love every part of this ending, and I hope it's the major storyarc next week.