Did you know the Bulwer-Lytton Contest (for intentionally bad writing) had a science fiction category? Here's 2008's winner, from Cartersville, GA's Joe Schulman: "Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast." (The runner up, by Mark Murata, is also pretty great.) [Bulwer-Lytton Awards]