"Doggy Style" Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

Rear entry, right? I mean, like a dog does it? Well, yes, there's that, but human rear-entry sex is – fortunately, mercifully, blessedly – different from dog rear-entry sex.

Photo Credit: Big Max Power (BMP)/CC BY 2.0.

Over at Slate, Jason Bittel has a great SFW piece about the ins and outs of dog coitus, and the various ways that it is nothing like the dog-sex of your imagination. Take humping, for instance:

Humans hump to create friction. Friction stimulates the genitals and causes the male to ejaculate. However, when a male dog humps, he's mostly just trying to get his reproductive organ in the right spot. (Outside of reproduction, both male and female dogs hump. Canine researcher Julie Hecht writes about some of the possible things humping might communicate, including excitement, dominance, and friendship.)

Once the penis is safely inside, true doggy style takes another turn away from the position that shares a name with Snoop Dogg's seminal album. Blood rushes into the base of the penis, called the bulbus glandis, causing the organ to swell in size. At the same time, the female's vagina contracts against the penis, creating what's known as a "copulatory tie," "coital tie," or best of all, "dog knot." The male and female are now physically, literally locked into one another. According to Miller's Anatomy of the Dog, the main payload of sperm is delivered within 80 seconds of entry, but the dogs have only just begun.

It gets better (worse?). But how could it possibly get better than a dog knot? you ask. Let's just say it involves a very special twist on penis captivus that results in the dogs positioned butt-to-butt. Yeah. Go read it. Then maybe go explore the YouTube dog-sex nexus. Then clear your browser history, because some of those videos are kind of weird.

[Via Slate]