Earth's Surviving Race On The 100 Have SICK Abs

After a very good episode all about brother and sister and magic trash dances under the Earth light, The 100 delivered last night's episode. Which was all about torture being bad. In case you didn't know, torture is bad. Don't torture kids. Spoilers ahead...

Sorry about missing last week's episode which was basically like Cinderella — if Cinderella lived under the floorboards in a spaceship and was monitored by her brother who has the brain of a tiny mouse. That was a great episode. My personal favorite moment was when Octavia is taken in a trash mask to the trash youth dance, and she tugs at her ratty trash tank top dress because she's self conscious. Octavia, it's OK! Everything is garbage on the Ark, you are lucky that you even have clothes!

It was a great episode — claps to everyone involved, because it was great and exactly the right amount of schmaltz this show can get away with, and should. Plus we kind of know why Bellamy is a total lunatic: Because he ruined everything (in his mind).

Now moving on to this week... wow, the grounders. How hot was that Grounder, AMIRITE? Needless to say I was VERY surprised when Bellamy stripped the Grounder down to his pants, and all that was revealed was hairless abs and bold tribal-like tattoos (but not like the terrible Doug-the-frat guy tribal tatts of the early aughts). No, these had a flair all to themselves.

So La Bamba kidnaps the Groundling that he left chained in his cave. He brings him home for torture, and SURPRISE the torture goes as if it was handled by a bunch of idiot children. Which... hey wait!

You see Pretty-Hair-Pretty-Face Boy has been stabbed AND poisoned. Clarke (Boy's Name) manages to get the knife out AND get back in touch with the Ark. Thus allowing her mother to speak with her and guide her through the knife removal. This also allowed Clarke to yell at her Mom through the only means of communication and basically scream "you're the worst Mom FOREVER and I'll never do what you say NEVER." Ok ok, the big takeaway is the Groundling poisoned his knife, and only he has the antidote. So what do the children do? Beat him senseless and scream "TELL ME YOUR SECRETS."

Why they are surprised this doesn't work is beyond me. "JUST STAB HIM. STAB HIM WITH HIS OWN POISON KNIFE. STAB HIM. STAB HIM IN THE HAND, NO NOT WITH THE OTHER KNIFE WITH THE POISON KNIFE," was basically all I was screaming at the television during this scene. But instead Octavia stabs herself because the Groundling has a crush on her. And then he reveals the antidote. Good job everyone — you're all basically shit at survival, besides the girl who has lived in a prison most of her life.

But at the end of the day, I like this love connection. Team Groundling Abs.

Moving on to the Ark, which was infinitely more interesting this go round. I'm finding that The 100 kind of swings the pendulum of interest towards the Ark or towards the Earth each episode. Rarely are both storylines good. But that's OK, as long as one or the other is entertaining.

So, on the Ark, Clarke's Mom is about to get in trouble for telling everyone that they were all going to die. My favorite part of the episode was actually in this meeting when Clarke's Mom says, "hey what about all those flares we saw?" And Kane says "More false hope?" My eyes rolled so far back into my skull, I found old Jr. High fantasies of Hook's Rufio tucked away. COME ON. Thankfully, we were swiftly introduced to Diana, who is not suspicious at all.

Earth's Surviving Race On The 100 Have SICK Abs

Diana is the working class leader, and you can tell that from her perfectly highlighted hair. She was on the council and isn't anymore, and clearly this is the episode where she gets back on the council. And voila, she does. There's allegedly some sort of revolt going on, or maybe Diana made it up, or made it happen. Either way she weasels her way back into the governing party of the Ark. And from there a massive plot twist is revealed, there are only 700 spots on return ships and there are 2,000 people living in the Ark. Which made me say, "Aaaaah, so that's why they're so free with the constant floating."

Why humanity would build a ship that would save us, without enough life boats to return home baffles the mind — even the chancellor name checks the Titanic. Do they not remember Victor Garber's words of warning? "I'm sorry that I didn't build you a stronger ship, young Rose." Maybe, MAYBE there were enough boats for everyone at one time, and if so OK, that's understandable, but these numbers seem wildly out of whack (JK I didn't do any math). So we'll have to see what happens with that and with Dirty Diana!

However the most interesting moment out of the whole damn tamale was Kane, returning to his religious stomping grounds to water the spirit tree or whatever. Kane breaks down to his mother, lamenting that he doesn't know who he is anymore. No shit, Kane. You have made some seriously questionable judgement calls as of late. But this personal turn could be good. I see redemption in his future.

Until next week, let's all remember that torture = bad.